Luxembourg officials have confirmed that several mobile speed cameras that escaped from a warehouse last year have begun breeding, and that as many as 100 of the devices are now living on their own. The alarm was sounded on Monday by a motorist who stopped near Kopstal for what she believed was a group of […]
Car salesman still doesn’t give a shit
Despite the enormous buzz surrounding the yearly Autofestival and the flood of prospective clients coming through dealership doors this week, a local car salesman has confirmed that he still doesn’t give a shit. Marco Donlingi explains that when a potential customer walks in, he usually waits between seven to 13 minutes before reacting. During that […]
Luxembourg pavilion to remain unfinished to better reflect country
DUBAI — Planners behind the Luxembourg pavilion at the Dubai 2020 World Expo have decided to leave the site “under perpetual construction” to give visitors a more accurate vision of life in the Grand Duchy. “We originally planned to complete a beautiful, modern three-story edifice in the shape of a Möbius strip, with a light […]
‘Close all 12 streets that remain open,’ orders VDL official with maniacal laughter
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — At a press conference on Wednesday to address the traffic crisis, the official who oversees transportation and roadworks in the city suddenly grew annoyed with criticism and, in a moment of madness, ordered the remaining 12 open streets to be closed. The official, going by the alias “Minister X,” at first attempted to […]
‘Insanity, heart attacks, possibly death’ the price for tram, official affirms
Responding to criticism that the worsening traffic in Luxembourg City is tearing the social fabric, a top official is reminding the public that inconvenience is the price to pay for the construction of a light rail network. “Look, you wanted a tram, so that means digging holes and laying tracks,” said Lettie Folper, the city’s […]
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