Luxembourg officials are warning about a potentially strong outbreak of the Eurovision Song Contest this year, and they are advising newcomers — particularly those from other continents who’ve never seen the contest — to avoid being accidentally exposed to Saturday night’s televised final. “One moment you’re flipping through channels looking for a good action movie […]
Archives for May 2019
New Gare-area homeowners telling selves drug dealers ‘add to the charm’
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A couple who recently purchased and moved into a two-bedroom flat near the Gare are trying to convince themselves that having drug dealers line their street at night is actually a bonus to living in the neighborhood. “Pickpockets, beggars, those guys who pass out in our doorway, and the people who sell hard […]
EU employees lay flowers at site where thousands of unread reports are buried
KIRCHBERG — In commemoration of Europe Day in Luxembourg, a crowd of employees from European Union institutions gathered at a document burial site to pay respect to the millions of pages of official reports that, once printed, were never read. “It’s great that we have this day to celebrate European unity, but it’s important to […]
Dog better at languages than you
Confirming suspicions that you are linguistically challenged, a team of researchers from the University of Wiltz have determined that a dog from the middle of the country has a much greater fluency in languages than you. “Despite her pea-sized brain, a memory reinforced only by dog biscuits, and a tendency to lose interest after 30 […]
Luxembourg to import hundreds of anarchist street punks
Responding to complaints that the country is two shades too quiet, Luxembourg officials have announced a plan to import up to 500 anarchist street punks with the aim of shaking things up. The anarchists, all between the ages of 18 to 25, will mostly be recruited from neighboring countries, but some are being sourced from […]