A COVID-19 virus particle hanging out on a Rollingen woman’s left hand has expressed concerns that she’s trying to get it drunk. “Another round already?” the virus said after Bettina Mueller covered her hands in sanitizer for the third time in an hour on Wednesday afternoon. “Probably not a good idea, lady.” “But okay,” it […]
Luxembourg man develops terrible cough, immediately goes to gym
A Luxembourg City man who developed a terrible cough on Tuesday acted quickly by rushing to a packed gym. Claude Grover, who works for a local architecture firm, says that going to a warm, stuffy space with 100 people exerting themselves and gasping for air is just the thing to treat whatever he’s got. “Germs […]
Guy in mask ruins party for everyone
ALZINGEN – What started off as a fun evening of alcohol, grilled food, and the casual expulsion of millions of virus particles was quickly ruined when a friend showed up wearing a face mask. Just an hour into the BBQ, everyone was drunk enough to forget about the pandemic thing that has annoyed everyone for […]
Luxembourg store employee returns to full-time not giving a shit
BERTRANGE — A store employee who has spent the last month being apathetic part-time has returned to full-time not giving a shit. “It took a few weeks to get back into the routine and remember how to show minimal interest in the petty concerns of those who enter these premises,” said Damien Sellier, who had […]
5 ways to ensure social distancing in the office
With more office employees returning to work, employers are finding it difficult to ensure that everyone stays two meters from each other. Follow these five tips to make social distancing easy. Create divisions between employees We’re not talking about plastic partitions or other physical dividers. No, you need to create social divisions. There are many […]
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