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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Government announces plan to announce plan before announcing plan

January 5, 2021

Breaking New Luxembourg Wurst

On Monday, Prime Minister Xavier Bettel and several ministers announced a plan to announce a plan before announcing a plan.  “We’re going to say something on Tuesday, and we want to tell you, the public, we are going to say it before we say it,” said a government spokesperson. “That way, you’ll know you’re going […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Politics and Government

New gun capable of vaccinating 500 people per minute

January 4, 2021

Vaccination gun the vaccinator

Citing the need to reopen society as soon as possible before we all lose our minds, an engineer from Luxembourg has developed a vaccination gun capable of delivering 500 shots per minute.  “I read that it might take months to get most of Luxembourg vaccinated,” said Jean Wayne, creator of the Vaccinator 2400. “That’s not […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Science and Technology

Luxembourg woman caught buying 350 ml of hair conditioner

December 28, 2020

Non-essential Luxembourg

A Luxembourg resident was caught red-handed on Monday after she bought 350 milliliters of hair conditioner from a supermarket in Bertrange. Police spokesperson Marco Trausch says the culprit sneaked into an aisle that is blocked off due to the government’s ban on the sale of non-essential goods, which includes everything from shampoo to underwear and […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Shopping

‘Teleworking is the future,’ insists local visionary

December 28, 2020

Teleworking Luxembourg

A socially myopic Luxembourg office worker has expressed his “full agreement” with the government’s decision to mandate so-called teleworking, which he says should be the new norm thanks to widely available and inexpensive technology that “allows everyone to work from the comfort of their homes.” “It’s incomprehensible why society hasn’t transitioned to teleworking earlier,” he […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Workplace

‘Santa accidentally sent me Amazon gift cards meant for you,’ grandma explains on Zoom

December 27, 2020

Grandma Zoom Santa

Wearing an impeccable poker face, a grandmother from abroad has explained in a Zoom session with her Luxembourg grandkids that Santa Claus accidentally sent her Amazon gift cards meant for them. “I told Santa not to worry about it, that I’d just transfer the claim codes to you,” said Catherine Harper, known to the children […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Holidays

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COVID Luxembourg archives
Luxembourg Wurst t-shirts and hoodies
Teleworking Luxembourg

‘Teleworking is the future,’ insists local visionary

Grandma Zoom Santa

‘Santa accidentally sent me Amazon gift cards meant for you,’ grandma explains on Zoom

Cannibals in Luxembourg

Cannibals demand gatherings be limited to 1.5 people

Luxembourg curfew meteor

‘Meteor’ just man racing to get home before 11 p.m. curfew

Intruders break into Luxembourg home and force man to eat his kids’ Christmas chocolate

Intruders break into Luxembourg home and force man to eat his kids’ Christmas chocolate

The real story of the red lion, by Wise Expat Sage

Red lion of Luxembourg history

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