MARTELANGE — Citing a recently discovered proclamation from 1374 that confers all of Luxembourg to the Count of Flanders, Grand Duke Henri was obliged to engage in a sword battle on Tuesday to retain his dominion, according to royal observers. While most residents of the Grand Duchy went to work or school, His Royal Highness […]
Pirate Party candidate considering ironing t-shirt before public event
FRUGALANGE — A member of Luxembourg’s Pirate Party who is running for deputy in the upcoming elections has admitted to giving “serious thought” to ironing his t-shirt before appearing at an upcoming event. Lucian Welter says that while he’s been making efforts to wear his nicest t-shirts and jeans when he’s on the campaign trail, […]
Expat surprised to learn grand duke doesn’t actually rule country
KOFFISPILLEN — A man who has lived in Luxembourg for nearly a decade says he’s dumbfounded after being told that Luxembourg’s reigning monarch doesn’t actually rule the country. Anthony Ludarki, 35, who was transferred to Luxembourg in early 2009, says he always understood that Grand Duke Henri enjoyed the broad and nearly absolute power for […]
Luxembourg teen’s smartphone fuses into hand
GASPERICH — A teenager described by his parents as “always on his phone” will now be stuck to it for the rest of his life. Lycée student Geoffrey de Kelpt, 17, says that he woke up one morning last week and realized that his phone had melded with his left hand. He is unable to […]
Compromise at last: Luxembourg smokers agree to stop exhaling in public
An agreement between the country’s most zealous smokers and its most vociferous anti-smokers was reached late Wednesday night, leading many to believe that hostility between the two camps will finally subside. The deal allows smokers to continue enjoying cigarettes pretty much anywhere in public—on the condition that they don’t exhale and find something else to […]
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