The agency that regulates Luxembourg’s banking sector has authorized a new surcharge to discourage people from igniting explosives inside the country’s thousands of cash machines. Starting next week, banks will be permitted to charge anyone who blows up a cash machine €2.50, in addition to other fees they might incur during the forcible removal of […]
Grrr: senior citizen at cash machine takes ages to find slot for bomb
ESCH-SUR-ALZETTE — A line of criminals waiting to blow up a cash machine early Thursday morning had to wait 15 minutes while an elderly thief in front of them struggled to find the right place to insert his explosive device. “Hey, grandpa, we don’t have all day,” angrily whispered Hubert Beenhouwer, who was already late […]
Hundreds of sheep in Kirchberg hired
KIRCHBERG – A flock of sheep passing through Luxembourg’s financial district in recent days has led to an impromptu job fair, with companies rushing outside to set up recruitment stands, and some claiming they made dozens of new hires. Ewelyn, a five-year-old female sheep who took a break from her career after giving birth to […]
Lunchtime horror: pack of feral bankers go on rampage through Auchan
KIRCHBERG — Hundreds of savage bank employees swarmed into the Auchan commercial centre around 12:30 p.m. on Friday, fanning out in every direction and cleaning out all of the estimated 1500 freshly made sandwiches in just over four minutes. Katrin Mikko, out shopping with her newborn son, was queuing at one of the downstairs bakeries […]
Wow: Luxembourg entrepreneur said ‘blockchain’ in empty room and now a bunch of excited people are throwing money at him
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — In a testament to how hot this technology is, an unknown entrepreneur walked into an empty meeting room in Kirchberg and said “blockchain” — and suddenly he was surrounded by dozens of people throwing funds at him. When asked why he had sprinted there from an office down the street, one fund manager […]