Several French employees of a Luxembourg marketing firm were held hostage for more than 20 minutes on Thursday after an anglophone joined their conversation.
“Attendez, just a second, wait, er, how do you say, wait, I got it, je suis d’accord,” the anglophone said in response to what she thought was a discussion about typical French obsessions such as literature and philosophy — but was actually about a reality TV star who had allegedly slept with an underage Estonian folk singer.
When out of pity or frustration the group switched to English, the anglophone refused to accept the gesture and instead forced the others to endure her French.
“Non, non, j’insiste, je must parler français pour maker progression,” she said. “When j’avais 16 years old, j’ai spenté deux semaines avec une famille in Nantes, and comme ça I learned.”
“Also, j’adore le cinéma français, the nouvelle wave, and all ça,” she said.
The anglophone then completely switched to French, or some version of it. As each of the hostages attempted to flee, the anglophone said, “Non, non, ne escapez pas” and spoke louder.
When a Belgian senior manager approached, the French colleagues believed that they would be rescued. However, delighted by the anglophone’s desecration of the French group’s most precious asset, the manager urged her to continue.
“Ton français est parfait, keep going, don’t stop,” the Belgian said while running away.