BISSEN — A man who has self-quarantined since the middle of the month has finished the internet, according to multiple sources.
“Every article, blog post, video, social media update, and meme,” said Nicolas Quinn, 29, after switching off his tablet after a marathon 22-hour session. “I’m done. I’ve consumed them all.”
“There’s nothing you can show me that I haven’t already seen, and there’s nothing you can create that’s not a variation of something already out there,” he added.
When asked about how it felt to achieve this feat, Quinn said he was disappointed.
“All this time I’ve assumed that if I keep scrolling, I’d one day come across something truly mind-blowing or at least useful,” he said. “I now realize that nothing with any real value has ever been put online, except for cooking recipes, but you only need 15 or 20 good ones to last you the rest of your life.”
Experts say that while it may come as a surprise that there is a finite amount of content on the web, it makes sense when you understand people stopped having original thoughts around 2006.
“We had 10 solid years of clever, innovative content, but after that everhting just got repetitive and stupid,” said internet historian Christos Grespi. “There’s nothing left.”