THE GARE — Insisting he doesn’t like to use such sales tactics, a dealer who hangs out near the Luxembourg City train station says he’s got a very strong feeling that a middle-aged business traveller secretly wants to be approached while standing at a cash machine.
The 27-year-old dealer admits that it’s not polite to approach people while they’re withdrawing money, and that such behavior gives street dealers everywhere a bad reputation. However, he feels that this 40-something man pulling a suitcase and still wearing a Big Four visitor badge is a special case.
“He’s sending me a powerful psychic message,” said the dealer. “He’s asking me to walk up behind him at the moment he enters his PIN and use some hip drug-dealer slang to initiate a deal.”
“I’ve telepathically informed him that my drugs are low-quality, of uncertain provenance, and might be cut with any number of toxic household cleaners,” the dealer continued. “And he’s cool with that, because even though he looks like a conservative father of four, he’s actually a risk-taking party boy who has YOLO tattooed on his chest.”
“See how he keeps looking around, and how his hand is shaking, and how he seems unable to remember his PIN. He’s telling me to act now.”
“You know, my grandmother was clairvoyant,” he added. “I’ve got the gift.”
“Hey, yo, papi,” the dealer then said to the man, who as part of the elaborate game cancelled his transaction and pretended to be afraid. “I know what you want.”