In what’s being compared to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and the joke about Will Smith’s wife during the Academy Awards, a shopper in a check-out queue has chosen to not place a little barrier on the conveyor belt for the person behind him.
The dastardly deed was committed at a popular Kirchberg supermarket on Friday in the middle of the lunch rush, a tense period when efficiency and politeness are vital to preventing societal collapse.
Jurgen Huber, who was left wondering how to separate his items from those of the shopper in front of him, says that at first he was confused but that his feelings turned into anger and a desire for revenge.
“The guy had three or four of those things right there,” he said. “And yet he didn’t act, not even when I said ‘ahem.”
“Not even when I said ‘ahem’ a second time,” he added.
When Huber became aware that a female shopper behind him was now waiting for him to place a barrier for her, he was forced to swallow his pride, reach over the items of the evildoer, and take two barriers.
“In my ancestral tongue, I whispered curses at him and his whole lineage,” he said. “I hope they all get incurable hemorrhoids.”
Experts agree that such actions, or failures to act, could one day lead to World War Three and nuclear annihilation.
“One day it’s shopping etiquette that is ignored, and the next day nations are tearing up treaties and firing missiles at their neighbors,” Huber said.
