LUXEMBOURG CITY — Admitting that traffic has not improved much despite the tram, Mayor Lydie Polfer says it might be time to start using the 26-station underground rail network that was built under the city in the late 1990s. “It’s been there for ages,” she said to an aide on Monday while the two were […]
Luxembourg City parking agents undergo commando training
In response to a growing number of drivers in Luxembourg City who illegally park their cars and say to themselves, “it’s only for a minute,” all municipal parking agents will now undergo special forces training. The intensive program lasts 42 weeks and consists mainly of evasion tactics, urban survival, and guerilla ticketing operations. The goal […]
Catastrophe: Luxembourg City man loses scarf
A Luxembourg City man and member of the country’s largest scarf-appreciation club has lost his scarf, according to sources who observed him crying at work. “My scarf is my everything,” said Michael Saetang, a member of the Scarf Bros. since 2018. “Designer trousers, my beautiful silk ties, even my carefully matched shoes and belt mean […]
Newcomer wishes he could have experienced Luxembourg City when it was full of joy and smiles
A man who moved to Luxembourg City last autumn says he regrets he’ll never know the city as it was before Covid-19, when it was certainly “full of smiles on every street corner.” “Luxembourg is wealthy, safe, and clean,” says Luca Font. “Residents enjoy the fruits of good jobs, social welfare, and the sort of […]
Engineers figure out they can just put car wheels on tram instead
Saying “oops, pardon us,” Luxembourg City officials have admitted there’s no need to build expensive tram tracks when they can simply fit each tram with everyday car wheels. The “Lëtz Switch” plan is expected to save the city a hundred million euros and several more years of construction. “It might seem like we were acting […]
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