A young expat who often complains that Luxembourg City is boring has been forced to spend a morning at an upscale bakery cafe in the countryside to experience the horrors of actual boredom, sources have revealed. Vincente Gripes, who moved to Luxembourg two years ago, was asked by some Luxembourgish friends to take a day […]
Gare drug dealers switch to selling bottled water
Explaining that the decision makes good business sense, a consortium representing Gare-district drug dealers has announced that its 79 members are going to switch to dealing bottled water. “There’s more demand, and the customer base is huge,” explained Gare Dealers United president Stan Don-Korner. “Market reports tell us that 93 percent of neighborhood residents need […]
Kayaking now fastest way to Luxembourg City in mornings
Transportation officials have confirmed that with workday traffic congestion as bad as ever and trains often being late, the fastest way to Luxembourg City in the morning is kayaking on the Alzette. Hundreds of people from the south of the country already commute to the capital in this manner, with some investing in high-quality German […]
Sad: this elderly German couple walked around Luxembourg City for 6 days looking for someone to tell them in German where to find public toilets
Two elderly German tourists spent nearly a week going around Luxembourg City by foot as they desperately tried to find someone who could give them directions in German to a public toilet. Witnesses in the city center, many of whom repeatedly saw the couple over the course of six days last week, say it was […]
St. Nick once again gives drug paraphernalia to Gare resident
A man who lives in an apartment in Luxembourg City’s Gare district and put his slippers outside his door on the night of December 5 has, for the third year in a row, been given drug paraphernalia by St. Nicholas. St. Nicholas, known locally as Kleeschen, has for hundreds of years been giving small presents […]
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