An obviously ill-informed man walked into a Luxembourg City bakery on Tuesday, looked the cashier straight in the eye, and, according to several witnesses, said, “Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” Obviously, the cashier responded with “non, désolée monsieur” while still making valiant efforts to understand the customer’s incoherent utterances. Before long, both parties agreed to communicate with […]
French boss throws a little English into presentation and people are like, mon dieu, he’s good
The French-speaking director of a mostly French-speaking company based in Bertrange has just blown the minds of his team by using several English expressions during an all-hands meeting. The show of linguistic force began on Thursday at 9:35 a.m. when Philippe Flavy, 45, announced that the company would be moving to a cloud computing service […]
Expat teens to be taught how to swear properly in Luxembourgish
Calling it a matter of social urgency, the Agency for Linguistic Integration has announced a new plan to teach foreign-born teenagers how to swear properly in Luxembourgish. “Many of these teens don’t know how to use a single expletive or bad word in Luxembourgish, or if they do, they sound like a grandmother when they […]
‘Perform, dammit, and show grandma how many languages you speak,’ hisses expat parent during video chat
A frustrated expat mother has scolded her daughter for yet again refusing to demonstrate her linguistic range during a video call with the little girl’s grandmother. “And how is school going?” inquired the grandmother, aged 65, who lives in a country where people generally speak only one language. “Are you learning a lot?” The mother […]
Man afraid Ukrainian refugees will learn Luxembourgish before him
A man who has refused to join the rest of the country in welcoming Ukrainian refugees has admitted that he is mainly worried they will learn the local languages before he does. David Last has lived in Luxembourg since 2012 but has yet to make any real effort to learn Luxembourgish, let alone French or […]
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