Tech giant Elon Musk has demanded that Luxembourg give up the x in its name, saying that the letter is a registered trademark and belongs to him and his social media platform. “Are your X are belong to us,” he said in a post, informally known as a xeet, formerly known as a tweet. The […]
Caritas Luxembourg unveils new €60-million yacht named ‘Charity’
Finally answering the question “where the hell did all those sixty-plus millions of euros of embezzled money go?” a source for the now mostly defunct Caritas Luxembourg has presented the organization’s latest acquisition: a luxury yacht lovingly named Charity. “You may wonder why we’d need a luxury yacht that’s docked safely away from EU […]
State conducts survey to see if residents like surveys
Following years of collecting statistics about how much money residents spend on food condiments per month and if they are satisfied with the way their neighbors take care of their gardens, the state has conducted a survey to see if residents like its surveys. “We wanted to get more insight into how residents feel about […]
‘I’m available for selfies,’ Frieden reminds public
In a recent press conference to address the topic, Prime Minister Luc Frieden has reminded the public that he is available, willing, and happy to take selfies with members of the public. “Just like my predecessor, I’m fun, spontaneous, and I know how to smile,” he said. “Like him, I’m very capable of walking around […]
Excellent choice, sir: why suspect photos in Luxembourg are aged like a fine whisky before release
In a network of tunnels below Luxembourg City is the cave where suspect photos are stored and aged like fine whisky until they are ready to be released to the public, explain law enforcement officials. Officer Marco Trausch, who oversees the aging process, took the Wurst on a tour, explaining that when a photo of […]
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