Admitting that the paper face masks sent to all residents of the Grand Duchy might not last long, Prime Minister Xavier Bettel announced that he’s going to donate 200,001 scarves from his personal collection for residents to cover their mouths and noses. “Oosh voosh oon moosh loosh,” he said at a press conference on Wednesday, […]
Tinder user wants to know when he can go back to banging new chick every night
A Tinder user from Luxembourg City has confirmed that he hasn’t had a one-night stand since mid-March, and he’s calling on the government to let him know when he’ll be able start banging a new chick every night again. “It’s cool that Hornbach is open in case I need some bathroom tiles or a can […]
Luxembourg woman wants people to stop smoking where she can see them
A Luxembourg woman is leading a drive to ban smokers from lighting up in places where non-smokers can see them. Karen Bizibahdi, who moved to the Grand Duchy in December, says she was shocked when she first exited the airport and observed a group of people smoking cigarettes in broad daylight while police stood by […]
Irish English replaces British English as EU working language
Following the departure of the United Kingdom from the European Union at the end of January, the EU has announced that Irish English will replace British English as the union’s primary working language. The change, effective immediately, was announced on Monday by European Commission president Ursula Gertrud von der Leyen, who says the unity of […]
Grand Ducal Mint readies 50-cent Brexit coin
In response to news that the U.K. government is releasing new 50 pence coins featuring the slogan “Peace, prosperity and friendship with all nations,” Luxembourg officials have announced they too will release a celebratory Brexit coin. To be released on January 31, the day that Boris Johnson’s U.K. leaves the European Union, the collectible 50-cent […]
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