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Knock A Shining Dog

Man attempts conversation with strangers in supermarket elevator

April 21, 2021

Luxembourg man elevator conversation

STRASSEN — Proving again that Luxembourg is no longer the bastion of safety and order it once was, a man attacked two strangers on Sunday by attempting to talk to them in a supermarket elevator. “It’s busy today, huh?” said the attacker to two other shoppers as the elevator slowly descended. The female shopper nervously […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Shopping

Luxembourg woman caught buying 350 ml of hair conditioner

December 28, 2020

Non-essential Luxembourg

A Luxembourg resident was caught red-handed on Monday after she bought 350 milliliters of hair conditioner from a supermarket in Bertrange. Police spokesperson Marco Trausch says the culprit sneaked into an aisle that is blocked off due to the government’s ban on the sale of non-essential goods, which includes everything from shampoo to underwear and […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Shopping

How to survive Ikea being closed

November 25, 2020

Luxembourg Ikea closed

With the Ikea near Arlon still closed, many Luxembourg residents have been forced to delay their furnishing and redecorating projects, causing them to suffer from sadness and anxiety.  “Most of us aren’t equipped to handle a long wait for ready-to-assemble furniture and stylish, cheap accessories,” said Dr. M. Alphonse, a psychiatrist in Luxembourg City. “We […]

Filed Under: Belgium, Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Shopping

New red light districts for fuel and cigarette tourism

November 4, 2020

Luxembourg red light district

Fed up with people who only come to Luxembourg to satisfy the base desire to save a few euros on certain items, officials have decided to build red light districts in border areas for fuel, cigarette, and alcohol tourism.  Residents say they are relieved they will no longer have to share precious space in petrol […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Greater Region of Luxembourg, Shopping

How to give your woman an orgasm by telling her Auchan still has green tea hand sanitizer in stock

October 27, 2020

How to give your woman an orgasm by telling her Auchan still has green tea hand sanitizer in stock

Does your woman love green tea hand sanitizer but fears she won’t be able to get any now that shoppers have begun hoarding again? Give her an amazing orgasm by telling her that Auchan still has some in stock. Don’t rush When it comes to getting her aroused about her favorite antibacterial goo that kills […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle, Shopping

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COVID Luxembourg archives
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