WALFERDANGE – A local woman has confirmed that despite having otherwise vanilla sexual fantasies, she can only reach orgasm by thinking about the sales rack at a German discount supermarket. “My kinky dreams are quite commonplace,” said Audrey Tindler. “A postman asking if he can step inside until the scary chihuahua stops chasing him. A […]
Better sit down and relax: French couple in front of you at gas station start inquiry about cigarette prices
In what’s being called “a sign that you’re going to be stuck for a while, so you’d better sit down, take a nap, and tell your partner you’ll be back tomorrow,” a French-speaking couple queuing in front of you at a service station have engaged the cashier in a line of questioning about cigarette prices. […]
This is how wars start: shopper fails to place little barrier for person behind him
In what’s being compared to the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and the joke about Will Smith’s wife during the Academy Awards, a shopper in a check-out queue has chosen to not place a little barrier on the conveyor belt for the person behind him. The dastardly deed was committed at a popular Kirchberg supermarket […]
‘Now stock the shelves,’ supermarkets tell you
Following their success in getting customers to check themselves out, a consortium of supermarkets operating in Luxembourg have announced that you should now stock the shelves. “You’re getting really good at doing our work for us,” said consortium president Del O’Chan. “Well, actually, you’re terrible at scanning, and it always takes you seven minutes to […]
Total strangers keep asking store employee about merchandise
A woman who works in a large Luxembourg City retail store has expressed confusion and exasperation following months of people she doesn’t even know approaching her and asking for her opinion about various items. “Just ten minutes ago, a man that I have never seen in my life came to me and said he needed […]
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