A Luxembourg City woman has been released from employment by a foyer scolaire after it was revealed that her arm tattoos, which are generally a requirement for all staff, were fake. The deception was uncovered on Wednesday afternoon by an observant five-year-old who noticed that the sunflower on the 25-year-old woman’s shoulder had begun to […]
‘Stop claiming you’re teaching,’ say actual teachers
Parents in Luxembourg who complain-brag about having to become full-time teachers are being reminded that putting your child in front of a tablet for three hours every morning doesn’t count as teaching, nor does it count as doing something full-time. “Having your kid binge-watch educational videos doesn’t mean you’re a teacher now,” say teachers. “It […]
‘One month equals 46,080 minutes,’ demonic child informs mother
A child from Beggen who is clearly driven by evil and a desire to inflict pain on innocent people casually informed his mother on Wednesday evening that one month equals 46,080 minutes. The vile calculation came just moments after Betina Moltze, 36, told her son Viktor that the Ministry of Education had announced that schools […]
Back to school in Luxembourg City
Investigators: classmate in oversized Marc Jacobs dress got it from second-hand shop
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A mystery that baffled private school students for an entire morning has been solved thanks to the hard work of two teenage detectives. When Brianna Dorian, 14, showed up at school on Tuesday wearing a Marc Jacobs silk midi dress, classmates had plenty of questions. How could she afford such a dress? And […]