In response to the perception that violent street crime is a growing problem in Luxembourg, the government has announced a new slogan and campaign to deter would-be attackers. The campaign, Letz Not Assault Random People, was developed by a committee whose members are experts in fields ranging from communications and marketing to public safety and […]
Luxembourg HR officer overwhelmed by number of candidates she needs to ghost this week
A Luxembourg HR officer whose work includes talent acquisition says that she is overwhelmed by the number of candidates she needs to ghost this week. “It’s only Monday, and I’ve already got at least fifty applicants with whom I need to cut off communication despite having made them believe that we might be interested in […]
Playboy Luxembourg to be launched
Following the creation of Elle Luxembourg and Forbes Luxembourg, the company that owns the Playboy brand has announced the launch of Playboy Luxembourg. “Luxembourg is a key market for international players, or so we’ve heard,” said PLBY Group spokesperson Les Cloze. “I assume that means discerning gentlemen who like a good martini, enjoy clever but […]
FIFA cancels remaining World Cup matches after running out of balls
Saying that they sincerely believed they had worked out every detail for a successful and complete World Cup, FIFA officials have announced that they are canceling the remaining matches due to a shortage of balls. “There’s a lot to think about when you organize a tournament of this scale,” said FIFA president Gianni Infantino. “You […]
The next person who shortens ‘Grand Duke’ to ‘Duke’ is getting a flying kick to the jaw!
Every year around this time, it’s always the same question: what are your plans for Duke’s Day? And every time I hear people say that, my blood boils. Duke? I don’t know any dukes. Oh, did you mean the Grand Duke? Then use the right term, you classless bonehead! Seriously, is it that hard? Next […]
Sleep experts recommend spending 3 hours each night transitioning from laptop, tablet, to phone
Affirming what many people already know, sleep experts say that in order to get a good night of rest, you should spend at least three hours slowly transitioning from your PC or laptop to your tablet device and eventually your phone. “Some people go directly from watching a TV series on their MacBook to turning […]
A grave social offense: man removes shirt during jog in city
LUXEMBOURG CITY – Unbeknownst to him, a foreign man who took off his shirt during an afternoon jog in the city has committed the gravest of social offenses, one that will damage his career, haunt his children, and reverberate through the ages. The misdeed, which officials from the state, church, and even sports organizations have […]
Expat loves meeting new people from home country to despise
A woman who has lived in Luxembourg for five years has confirmed that one of the little joys of living abroad as a so-called expat is meeting people from her home country to despise. “We don’t have a cohesive community like people from other countries do,” said Anna Aylander. “So, when I do run into […]