Saying that they sincerely believed they had worked out every detail for a successful and complete World Cup, FIFA officials have announced that they are canceling the remaining matches due to a shortage of balls. “There’s a lot to think about when you organize a tournament of this scale,” said FIFA president Gianni Infantino. “You […]
The next person who shortens ‘Grand Duke’ to ‘Duke’ is getting a flying kick to the jaw!
Every year around this time, it’s always the same question: what are your plans for Duke’s Day? And every time I hear people say that, my blood boils. Duke? I don’t know any dukes. Oh, did you mean the Grand Duke? Then use the right term, you classless bonehead! Seriously, is it that hard? Next […]
Sleep experts recommend spending 3 hours each night transitioning from laptop, tablet, to phone
Affirming what many people already know, sleep experts say that in order to get a good night of rest, you should spend at least three hours slowly transitioning from your PC or laptop to your tablet device and eventually your phone. “Some people go directly from watching a TV series on their MacBook to turning […]
A grave social offense: man removes shirt during jog in city
LUXEMBOURG CITY – Unbeknownst to him, a foreign man who took off his shirt during an afternoon jog in the city has committed the gravest of social offenses, one that will damage his career, haunt his children, and reverberate through the ages. The misdeed, which officials from the state, church, and even sports organizations have […]
Expat loves meeting new people from home country to despise
A woman who has lived in Luxembourg for five years has confirmed that one of the little joys of living abroad as a so-called expat is meeting people from her home country to despise. “We don’t have a cohesive community like people from other countries do,” said Anna Aylander. “So, when I do run into […]
Keeping tradition alive: this elder still pays for bus rides
Carlo Decker, aged 84, spent most of his life paying for bus rides. When Luxembourg instituted free public transport in 2020, this Mertzig great-grandfather vowed to keep alive the tradition of paying. The Wurst spoke to him about being a “carrier of the flame” and the difficulties he faces. Tell us about your experience with […]
Smart: Luxembourg to lay 207 kilometers of spike strips on motorways this summer to get tourists to stop for an afternoon
In an attempt to boost the number of tourists who visit the country this summer, Luxembourg officials have announced a plan to lay 207 kilometers of tire-puncturing spike strips on the motorways and commonly used entry points. “We want to target tourists from countries to the north who, when July comes around, make a beeline […]
Genius or madman? Local inventor has idea for public ‘fountain’ of water for drinking
Following a string of interesting but failed inventions such as self-drying umbrellas and high heels with removable heels for when the wearer needs to sprint for a bus, a local inventor has come up with another idea that may be too outlandish for Luxembourg. “I’m calling it a fountain, although it’s not a fountain in […]