Saying they have exhausted their coverage of all possible topics from Luxembourg, the Greater Region, Europe, and the rest of the world, a local newspaper has announced it will now turn its attention – and yours – to a minor celebrity story from the US. “That actress from California, you know the one, she was […]
New ‘Greyola’ crayons for Luxembourg market
Calling it an opportunity that should have been seized a long time ago, Crayola has released a set of crayons for the Luxembourg market that consists only of shades of grey. The company came up with the idea after being contacted by a Luxembourg City father who complained that his child was using her usual […]
Betrayal at the crosswalk: pedestrian doesn’t give you little wave
In what is being called “the ultimate act of betrayal” and “a sign that society is on the verge of collapse,” a pedestrian has failed to give a little wave of thanks after you let him cross the street. The backstabbing took place on Thursday afternoon, and it was made all the more audacious considering […]
Bettel to make vaccinations not non-mandatory
In response to confusion as to why the government just doesn’t make vaccines mandatory for everyone if that is what it really wants, Luxembourg Prime Minister Xavier Bettel has confirmed he will make vaccines not non-mandatory. “It would not be right to oblige an ordinary person to get the jab if that person doesn’t want […]
Newcomer pronounces ‘Gromperekichelcher’ correctly on first try
In what’s being compared to a young Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, a new arrival in the Grand Duchy has managed to pronounce Gromperekichelcher correctly on the first try. On Wednesday, just days after moving to Luxembourg, Zaqueu Belem, 30, was taken by two colleagues to the Christmas market. Upon seeing a food […]
Historic peace deal: expat, Luxembourger agree to ‘mutual tolerance’
FIDDELANGE – After years of muted hostility between them that has ranged from “a tense nothingness” to “nearly perceptible dislike,” an expat and his Luxembourgish neighbor have signed a peace agreement. Cole Sanderson, 31, and Robert Kremer, 72, have been at odds since Sanderson moved to Luxembourg – and a house in the neighborhood – […]
How to pretend you’re rich when friends from your home country visit
When friends from home find out you moved to Luxembourg, they do a little Googling and invariably say “oh, rich country, you must have a Ferrari now,” and you’re like, “uh, yeah.” Everything is good, your ego is fat, and your reputation back home is secure until your friends announce plans to visit. You look […]
Luxembourg meteorologist accidentally issues same forecast 3 weeks running and no one notices
An investigation has opened into how the chief of the country’s meteorological office accidentally issued the same weather forecast three weeks in a row and no one noticed. Over a three-week period beginning in October, Philippe-Emmanuel Labrume did not update the outlook on state-owned site isitstillraining.lu – “cloudy with a chance of drizzle.” The error […]