In what’s being called a victory for anyone whose appetite is greater than that of a small bird, a consortium of local Mexican, Tex-Mex, and other Latino-themed restaurants have agreed to add a sixth tortilla chip when they serve chips and salsa. The decision comes after years of complaints that five chips is not enough. […]
Is someone chasing him? This guy keeps running around the neighborhood
BERTRANGE – After seeing a man run through the neighborhood for several days on end, the best a group of residents can figure is that someone is chasing him. “I want to shout, don’t worry young man, with the speed you’re going, unless they’re in a car, they aren’t going to catch you,” said resident […]
How to get to know your neighbors by starting a pretend fire
After a few years of living on your street, you may feel it’s time to get to know the neighbors, those ghost-like entities who seem to inhabit nearby residences and with whom you share unobtrusive half glances from time to time when you are unfortunate enough to pass each other in the shared hallway or […]
Woman gets rid of bed to make room for more throw pillows
A Luxembourg woman has decided to get rid of her bed as it was taking up precious space that could be used for more throw pillows. “They say you can never have enough throw pillows to decorate, obstruct, and fundamentally ruin your sleeping area,” said Beate Horn. “They are right.” On Thursday, workers removed Horn’s […]
Luxembourg church bell ringing transitions to alert system
Following the successful test of the new emergency alert system which caused half of the country’s population to leap several meters in the air, the Catholic Archdiocese of Luxembourg has announced it will switch to a similar system for the ringing of church bells. “For years, the Church has been the leader in the hey-you-wake-up […]
Contact info for reliable handyman locked in vault like nuclear codes
Saying that the information is far too important for anyone else to have, a Luxembourg resident has locked up the phone number of a reliable handyman as if the number contained nuclear codes. The name and number was written on a piece of paper and placed inside of an underground vault the woman who possesses […]
Child believes parents cried on back-to-school day because they were sad
A Bettembourg eight-year-old whose tearful parents accompanied him to school for the first day back is convinced they were crying due to sadness. The child, who was rushed out the door on Tuesday “in a flurry of hoorays and huzzahs,” says he was touched that at first his parents pretended to be excited on what […]
Couple’s nickname for Schueberfouer reaches record 26 syllables
The nickname used by a Luxembourg couple for the annual Schueberfouer has reached a record 26 syllables, according to official sources. The couple, who have struggled to correctly pronounce the name of the end-of-summer funfair since moving to the country six years ago, deny that their feat was intentional. “I had asked my partner Claire […]
Are today’s cartoons failing to warn children about the dangers of falling anvils?
The last time Marie-Laure Klein saw her son Max, he was throwing stones at a sarcastic, cigar-smoking crow that had landed in their garden. Within moments, the four-year-old — along with the tricycle he was riding — were gone, victim of an anvil that had mysteriously dropped from the sky. “I didn’t know falling anvils […]
These sales staff were having a nice chat until a rude customer interrupted them with a stupid question about ink cartridges
In what is being cited as yet more evidence that Luxembourg shoppers are increasingly acting like spoiled children, a self-centred customer has rudely interrupted a group of chatting sales associates with a dumb question about ink cartridges. Kevin M., Florian S., and Carine Y., who work in the electronics and appliances department of a retail […]
What your preferred emoji really says about you
Everyone’s got their own favorite emoji, the one you generally use no matter the context. After consulting with an amateur psychologist who dabbles in misanthropy and cynicism, we found out what the most common emojis say about those who use them. 🙏 Prayer hands, also known as folded hands You’re grateful and kind, a cross […]
Angry mutant Schueberfouer ride emerges from fairgrounds
Following days of complaints from kids that this year’s Schueberfouer is identical to last year’s, the nearly 700-year-old fair responded by producing a mutant ride, the likes of which had never been seen in Luxembourg or anywhere in the world. The improbable event took place on Tuesday afternoon as groups of workers from nearby offices […]