All around the country, people are breathing a sigh of relief as normalcy seems to slowly return. Kids are back in school and, to our great relief, the number of COVID-19 cases appears to be dropping. Despite our hard-won victories against the virus, we must not let our guard down. It’s vital that we continue […]
New car that can actually fit in Parking du Théâtre
A group of engineering students from the University of Wiltz have built a car that can actually be parked in Luxembourg City’s underground Parking du Théâtre without scratching the sides of the vehicle. Modelled on a Range Rover, the vehicle is only 120 centimeters wide and 165 centimeters tall, which means that most drivers will […]
‘Pfaffenthal’ given three more Fs
Following complaints that it doesn’t contain enough unnecessary letters, Luxembourg City officials have decided to give the Pfaffenthal neighborhood three new Fs. “When I talk to expats, they say that at first the name ‘Pfaffenthal’ looked impossible to say correctly, but after hearing it once or twice, the pronunciation was easy,” said VDL Placename Meeschter […]
NASA unable to find signs of life in Luxembourg
After spending nearly four weeks exploring the surface of Luxembourg City and its surroundings, a rover sent by the U.S. space agency NASA has failed to find signs of life here. “We had good reason to believe that there would be life in Luxembourg,” said project head Roberta Desoleet. “Through telescopes we’ve observed the existence […]
Breaking: someone sneezed
Fear and confusion broke out across Luxembourg on Wednesday morning after someone sneezed, according to multiple reports. The violent expulsion was first felt by Jonathan Freeland, who was relaxing at a coffee shop on Avenue de la Liberté in the capital. A preliminary investigation failed to determine which of the 15 or so people in […]
Scientists create microscopic dog for Luxembourg grandmothers
Saying that one of the country’s biggest problems has been solved, a team of scientists from Luxembourg have created the Nanohuahua, a microscopic dog that is finally small enough to please local grandmothers. “For too long, local grannies have been stuck getting dogs that are too big,” said Dr. Henrick Zolantin, who oversaw the University […]
Government to fix housing crisis by asking people who already own property to shut up about it
Admitting that it’s impossible to make housing in Luxembourg more affordable, officials are instead asking everyone who already owns a home to shut up about it. “The housing market is out of our control,” said Ministry of Housing and Social Blights spokesperson Felix Oberpries. “It’s too strong. It’s like those bodybuilders who used to play […]