A friend everyone believed had tragically succumbed to Covid now wants to meet for a beer on a terrace, according to reports. The last anyone in the group of friends had heard from Phil Sullivan, a 34-year-old project manager who lives in Clausen, was last autumn just as bars and restaurants were ordered to close. […]
VDL mayor considering opening the fully functional, 26-station metro that was built in 90s
LUXEMBOURG CITY — Admitting that traffic has not improved much despite the tram, Mayor Lydie Polfer says it might be time to start using the 26-station underground rail network that was built under the city in the late 1990s. “It’s been there for ages,” she said to an aide on Monday while the two were […]
Man from big city unimpressed by local muggings
Saying he doesn’t understand why people make such a big deal about the muggings that now seem to occur every week, a man who moved to Luxembourg from a big city says you should see how it is where he’s from. “Back home, we’ve got proper street crime,” he said with a look of pride […]
Alert after Luxembourger infiltrates expat group
A red alert was issued on Wednesday after it was revealed that a Luxembourger had infiltrated a popular expats Facebook group. The infiltration was discovered after one of the group’s 8000-plus members asked for a cheese suggestion, to which a member named Estephania Makris responded, “Kachkéis.” When another member wrote that he’d tried kachkéis and […]
‘When’s weed going to be legal?’ man demands, for a friend
A resident who finds it curious that the government promised years ago to legalize cannabis has demanded to know when they’re going to deliver. “Not for me, it’s for a friend who is eagerly waiting,” he said. “Not that I’m opposed to cannabis, of course, and people say it’s safer than alcohol, less detrimental to […]
Luxembourg City parking agents undergo commando training
In response to a growing number of drivers in Luxembourg City who illegally park their cars and say to themselves, “it’s only for a minute,” all municipal parking agents will now undergo special forces training. The intensive program lasts 42 weeks and consists mainly of evasion tactics, urban survival, and guerilla ticketing operations. The goal […]
Desperate Thionville couple offer to pay for PCR tests, smuggle friends over border
An expat couple who moved to Thionville from Luxembourg City have grown so desperate for visitors that they’re now offering to pay for PCR tests for anyone who will visit them. “That’s fine if you don’t want to get a test,” said Lola Hirsch, who made the move with her partner more than three years ago […]
Luxembourg Wurst sold to German sausage maker
In what’s being called a logical move, the satire and humor website the Luxembourg Wurst has been sold to a German sausage manufacturer. A spokesperson for Hamburg-based Wurst Prinz, Jürgen Thüringer, says the company had long been considering Luxembourg as a potential new market. “From Wikipedia, we learned that Luxembourg has a veritable love affair […]