Luxembourg health experts often promote drinking water, but most forget to emphasize the importance of old-fashioned booze. Here are seven signs you may not be drinking enough alcohol. You’re wondering when the barman will return with change What are you, a bank teller? Scrooge McDuck? Stop counting pennies and order some more shots. You can […]
‘Insanity, heart attacks, possibly death’ the price for tram, official affirms
Responding to criticism that the worsening traffic in Luxembourg City is tearing the social fabric, a top official is reminding the public that inconvenience is the price to pay for the construction of a light rail network. “Look, you wanted a tram, so that means digging holes and laying tracks,” said Lettie Folper, the city’s […]
Report: only people at work those actually ill
A nationwide survey has revealed that the only people at work in Luxembourg today are those who are verifiably ill, whereas everyone who called in sick is exaggerating their symptoms, faking it, or staying home because everyone else is doing it and why be a fool. “The 134,438 pathetic individuals who pulled themselves out of […]
Luxembourg office worker awarded for outstanding sick performances
LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A steel company employee known to fake illness at least twice a month has been recognized for her tremendous achievements in acting. At its annual awards ceremony on Friday, the Luxembourg Work Actors’ Guild awarded Aurélie Bardol the Best Acting Sick prize, a golden statuette of a man calling in sick while simultaneously […]
Faking sickness in Luxembourg: three easy steps
In some countries, faking sickness requires careful preparation and an acting performance worthy of an Oscar. Not in Luxembourg. Want a few days off just because it’s Tuesday, the weather is bad, or your cat ate all the Nutella again? Follow these three steps: Inform your boss In the morning, send an email saying […]