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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

New gun capable of vaccinating 500 people per minute

January 4, 2021

Vaccination gun the vaccinator

Citing the need to reopen society as soon as possible before we all lose our minds, an engineer from Luxembourg has developed a vaccination gun capable of delivering 500 shots per minute.  “I read that it might take months to get most of Luxembourg vaccinated,” said Jean Wayne, creator of the Vaccinator 2400. “That’s not […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Science and Technology

Couple turn into gelatinous blobs after 1 week with no gym

December 6, 2020

Week no gym

Unable to work out since their gym was ordered to close last week, a fitness-loving couple from Capellen have turned into blobs of untoned flesh. The two were discovered by their cleaning lady on Wednesday afternoon. At first, the woman mistook them for melted ice cream, but when she attempted to clean up the mess, […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Leisure and Lifestyle

Doctors remove rental deposit from landlord’s butt

September 23, 2020

Rental deposit Luxembourg in landlords butt

A Luxembourg woman who waited almost a year to get back her rental deposit is celebrating after a team of doctors successfully removed the entire 3600-euro amount from her former landlord’s butt.  Alania Clangamora, 29, was surprised when she didn’t get the money back right away after moving out, she says, considering all she ever […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Health, Real Estate

Breaking: someone sneezed

August 28, 2020

Someone sneezed

Fear and confusion broke out across Luxembourg on Wednesday morning after someone sneezed, according to multiple reports. The violent expulsion was first felt by Jonathan Freeland, who was relaxing at a coffee shop on Avenue de la Liberté in the capital. A preliminary investigation failed to determine which of the 15 or so people in […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Dining and Nightlife, Featured Article, Health

Luxembourg man develops terrible cough, immediately goes to gym

July 7, 2020

A Luxembourg City man who developed a terrible cough on Tuesday acted quickly by rushing to a packed gym.  Claude Grover, who works for a local architecture firm, says that going to a warm, stuffy space with 100 people exerting themselves and gasping for air is just the thing to treat whatever he’s got. “Germs […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Leisure and Lifestyle

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