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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Great news: gym has slot open next Thursday from 6:15 to 6:45 am

January 15, 2021

Gym Luxembourg Covid

A Luxembourg man has raised his arms and sung hymns of praise after successfully booking an early morning half-hour slot at his fitness center next week. “I heard that my gym was open again, but not from them because apparently they yet haven’t yet mastered the difficult art of website and social media updates,” said […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

It couldn’t wait till Monday: fairy godmother appears and fixes Luxembourg woman’s grey roots

January 7, 2021

A Luxembourg woman who fell into a pit of despair after closely examining her grey roots was miraculously saved when her fairy godmother appeared with a hair dye kit.  The woman, a 29-year-old resident of Ettelbruck, has been carefully counting the days until hair salons are allowed to reopen next week. However, she had an […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

Couple turn into gelatinous blobs after 1 week with no gym

December 6, 2020

Week no gym

Unable to work out since their gym was ordered to close last week, a fitness-loving couple from Capellen have turned into blobs of untoned flesh. The two were discovered by their cleaning lady on Wednesday afternoon. At first, the woman mistook them for melted ice cream, but when she attempted to clean up the mess, […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Health, Leisure and Lifestyle

Is your friend inviting you over for dinner or is this a police operation? 

November 30, 2020

Dinner invitation or sting operation by the police?

OETRANGE — A woman who received a dinner invitation for her whole family doesn’t know if the invitation is genuine or if the message is a part of a police operation to catch would-be offenders, she has confirmed.  “That seems kind of weird that Alex is inviting us over, considering how freaked out about the […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle

Scarf bros announce takeover of all offices in Luxembourg

November 25, 2020

Luxembourg scarf bros

A gang of nearly 120,000 fashion-conscious male office workers have announced they are going to continuously wear scarves indoors until April – and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. “We’re here, we’re many, and although it’s not actually cold where we work, we’re going to wear these woven neck wraps all the time,” said […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Leisure and Lifestyle, Workplace

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COVID Luxembourg archives
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Breaking New Luxembourg Wurst

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New gun capable of vaccinating 500 people per minute

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‘Teleworking is the future,’ insists local visionary

Grandma Zoom Santa

‘Santa accidentally sent me Amazon gift cards meant for you,’ grandma explains on Zoom

The real story of the red lion, by Wise Expat Sage

Red lion of Luxembourg history

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