Saying “oops, pardon us,” Luxembourg City officials have admitted there’s no need to build expensive tram tracks when they can simply fit each tram with everyday car wheels. The “Lëtz Switch” plan is expected to save the city a hundred million euros and several more years of construction. “It might seem like we were acting […]
Frustrated resident of capital remembers when 12-minute commute was only 9 minutes
A resident of Luxembourg City has announced that he can no longer stand the endless roadworks and traffic congestion that have turned his once enjoyable nine-minute commute into a 12-minute nightmare. “It’s bullshit,” said Bartholomew Franzko, a 44-year-old law partner who lives in Cents and works in Kirchberg. “Driving to work used to be pleasant, […]
Luxembourg’s douchiest car owners to get special plates with only 3 digits
In a move that will delight Luxembourg’s most obnoxious car owners, the SNCA has announced it will begin offering license plates with only three digits. “We already have number plates with just four digits, and these are highly prized by those men who wash their cars every Sunday and get offended when someone doesn’t compliment […]
Revealed: all bus drivers in Luxembourg are friends with each other
All bus drivers in the Grand Duchy are friends with each other, as evidenced by the way they never fail to wave when their busses pass each other on the street. “It doesn’t matter if you’re operating an Emile Weber bus from Wiltz to Clerevaux twice a day while I’m cruising around the VDL in […]
Luxembourg bans cars with B plates
Insisting that Belgium’s recent decision to put residents of the Grand Duchy on a so-called red list has nothing to do with it, Luxembourg has announced a total ban on all cars with a B on the number plate. “This decision to forbid vehicles with B plates is not connected to the recent and very […]
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