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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

VDL mayor considering opening the fully functional, 26-station metro that was built in 90s

April 19, 2021

Luxembourg metro, underground subway

LUXEMBOURG CITY — Admitting that traffic has not improved much despite the tram, Mayor Lydie Polfer says it might be time to start using the 26-station underground rail network that was built under the city in the late 1990s.  “It’s been there for ages,” she said to an aide on Monday while the two were […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Transportation

Luxembourg City parking agents undergo commando training

April 2, 2021

Luxembourg special forces - parking

In response to a growing number of drivers in Luxembourg City who illegally park their cars and say to themselves, “it’s only for a minute,” all municipal parking agents will now undergo special forces training.  The intensive program lasts 42 weeks and consists mainly of evasion tactics, urban survival, and guerilla ticketing operations. The goal […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Transportation

Woman working from home still blaming traffic for being late every morning

December 1, 2020

Teleworking Luxembourg traffic

A woman who invariably blames traffic for being late to work every day is still using the excuse, even now that she’s working from home. On Monday morning, the project manager was 10 minutes late for a budget review meeting on Webex, forcing the other participants to endure small talk about weather, humidity, and mold […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Transportation, Workplace

Pervert imagines what women look like under their masks

December 1, 2020

Pervert wondering what women look like under masks

A pervert who travels around Luxembourg on public transport has allegedly been staring at the bottom half of women’s faces in a sick attempt to imagine what they look like under their masks.  “That bastard was staring at my cheeks the whole bus ride,” said Ruby Polimer, who fell victim to the man’s lecherous gaze […]

Filed Under: Coronavirus / COVID-19, Featured Article, Transportation

Engineers figure out they can just put car wheels on tram instead

October 24, 2020

Luxembourg tram with wheels and tires

Saying “oops, pardon us,” Luxembourg City officials have admitted there’s no need to build expensive tram tracks when they can simply fit each tram with everyday car wheels.  The “Lëtz Switch” plan is expected to save the city a hundred million euros and several more years of construction.  “It might seem like we were acting […]

Filed Under: Featured Article, Luxembourg City, Transportation

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