While some of us are Christmas pros, swigging homemade glühwein with one hand while singing “Jingle Bells” with the other (using a sock puppet, obviously), not everyone is naturally good at celebrating the holiday. Here are some tips.
Get in the mood with the right colors
A lot of what makes the Christmas season what it is are its signature colors, red and green.
But not everyone likes the color red, which happens to be the color of blood and is kind of a weird choice when you think about it. As for green, well, yeah, it’s mostly known for being the color of spinach, kale, and other leafy vegetables, which not everyone likes. Hmm. Instead of red and green, feel free to go with purple and yellow. Or orange and blue. Actually, decorate your home or workspace with any color you like, and people will certainly feel your holiday cheer.
Make if feel like December
For many people, December is synonymous with a huge amount of professional stress. If you are in a managerial position, do your part by suddenly imposing fun, new end-of-the-month deadlines, and ensure that every few days there is yet another after-work social event that staff must attend despite their many growing December pressures at home. If you’re an employee, do your part by missing deadlines and showing up a little later every day, giving your boss the holiday-linked stress he or she loves.
Head to the shops and pick up some stuff
Another thing that makes people feel in their bones that the holiday season is upon them is the cultural practice of going to shopping centers and buying stuff. We love stuff. During Christmas, people want to feel good, and the best way to do that is by offering them stuff, and they in turn offer you stuff. Tis the season of stuff.
Tree and wrapped presents
When you watch Christmas movies, you see families gather around a dead tree, hugging each other and smiling as if to mock the tree and say, “tree, we have cut you down to prove our supremacy over plant life. Now watch as we open presents wrapped in paper which is made from the skin of your fellow trees.” While the whole thing might seem morbid and cruel, the practice is a holiday must.
A special meal
Almost as important as the tree is the ritual of eating in a circle in a collective display of gluttony: stuffing your face while others watch, and you in turn watch them. While it might seem as if you could turn away and spare yourself the indignity of acting like a bear storing up fat before hibernation, it is important that you do it in front of others. In fact, try getting into it by smearing grease on your chin and letting bits of food fall out of your mouth. If anyone objects, explain that they don’t understand the true spirit of Christmas, growl at them, and steal a piece of meat from their plate.***
Originally published by RTL Today
