Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Oops! Grand Duke loses Luxembourg in late-night poker game

MONTE CARLO — Shocking residents, officials, and royal observers alike, Luxembourg’s reigning monarch briefly lost the Grand Duchy to Spain on Wednesday night in a game of high-stakes poker. The game, played between His Royal Highness Grand Duke Henri, Spain’s King Felipe, Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden, and several other monarchs, quickly went from being […]

Uh-oh: Luxlait cow almost out of milk

ROOST — In what’s being called “a reason to actually cry over spilt milk,” Luxembourg’s largest milk distributor has announced that its dairy cow is almost out of milk. Sandy, the company’s 29-story Norwegian Red that has been providing much of Luxembourg with milk since 2001, is nearly empty, according to Laurent Spautz, Sandy’s caretaker. […]

Horror as man forced to wear Speedos at Luxembourg pool

WALFERDANGE — A fun afternoon at the swimming pool quickly turned into a nightmare for a local man after he was forced by staff to wear grape-hugging lycra briefs — known as “budgie smugglers” or by the brand name Speedos. On Sunday, the victim tried to enter the pool with loose-fitting swimming trunks, which are […]

Cashier who commutes 4 hours each day ‘should be friendlier’ insists expat

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — A customer of a Luxembourg petrol station has declared that he is fed up with getting frigid treatment from a cashier simply because her life is a drudgery of long commutes, dull work, and minimum salary. “Nearly every time I stop there to fill up my Range Rover or pick up a bottle of […]