A Strassen woman who recently held a meeting with her new cleaning lady has made the first order of business explaining that she is not the type of person to have a cleaning lady. “The first thing to tell you is that I work hard to keep our home tidy,” said Paloma Verker. “That’s how […]
It’s scarf time, bitches!
Gentlemen, for too many months our necks have been naked. For too long we have walked these cruel streets without our most beloved piece of fabric measuring 90 centimeters by 90 centimeters. We have been lonely, ill-at-ease, and vulnerable to the harsh elements of this world. In May, they told us we had to give […]
In defense of €11.50 for a liter of water
Following the revelation that one or more restaurants at the Schueberfouer now charge €11.50 for a liter of bottled water, many Luxembourg residents have expressed outrage, describing such prices as exploitation. However, there is a very simple explanation why €11.50 is actually a very fair deal. Miracle of chemistry To start off, water doesn’t just […]
Whoa, mate: bakery customer is like ‘Sprechen Sie Deutsch?’
An obviously ill-informed man walked into a Luxembourg City bakery on Tuesday, looked the cashier straight in the eye, and, according to several witnesses, said, “Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” Obviously, the cashier responded with “non, désolée monsieur” while still making valiant efforts to understand the customer’s incoherent utterances. Before long, both parties agreed to communicate with […]
Masked superhero delivers Luxembourg crémant to desperate holidaymakers
A couple from Mamer who are enjoying a week-long stay at a Mediterranean resort have confirmed that, as hard as it is to believe, they have managed to get some cool, delicious Crémant de Luxembourg. Desirée Kompstad and Christie Lambert say the feat was a total surprise. “We’d run into a family from Echternach, and […]
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