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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Luxembourgish boss forces entire office to order fish at Schueberfouer dinner

September 6, 2018

Schueberfouer fish GLACIS — A casual office dinner at the Schueberfouer on Wednesday turned into a display of tyrannical power as the Luxembourgish boss who organized the event compelled all 17 employees present to eat the traditional fried fish.

“I’d like the veal cordon bleu,” said receptionist Agnes Molnar, 31, when the waitress arrived at the table. Molnar then glanced at 52-year-old partner Jeff Krier staring at her with the intensity of a hundred volcanoes. “What I meant to say is that I’d like the fish.”

“As I’m a vegan, could you just bring me a bowl of vegetable soup and a side salad?” sales manager Max Ghibli, 34, told the waitress before feeling the ground shake and sensing a great heat emanating from the red-faced partner. “I mean, I was a vegan until this morning, so yeah, sure, give me the fish.”

Henrietta Hanza, 24, who had just returned to work from two weeks off due to a stomach bug she picked up while on vacation, shook her head when asked by the waitress if she wanted to eat.

“Nothing for me, thanks, just a bottle of flat water and a paper sack in case I get sick,” she said and was immediately burned by sparks flying out of the partner’s mouth and eyes.

“I believe the young lady will have the fish,” the partner told the waitress in Luxembourgish, slowly waving his arm in the air.

“Yes,” Hanza responded hypnotically. “I will have the fish.”

Sources indicate that the annual outing to the Schueberfouer — and employees’ willingness to eat the fish — has over the years gone from being a source of amusement to being the main factor in determining Christmas bonuses.

In one extreme case in 2009, an accountant was fired and physically thrown out of the restaurant when she refused to order the fish. And in 2014, an employee fresh out of university was immediately promoted from junior officer to senior manager when the firm’s partners observed him joyfully devouring two whole orders of the item.

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Filed Under: Dining and Nightlife, Featured Article, Luxembourgish Customs, Schueberfouer, Workplace

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