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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Gang of Luxembourg City teens rush into cafe, order food, sit quietly

November 11, 2019

Breaking news Luxembourg

LUXEMBOURG-VILLE — Panic gripped the staff of a cafe in the city center on Monday when a group of at least 15 young men rushed into the cafe and surrounded the barista. 

“They were all dressed like gang members in tight designer jeans, expensive hoodies, and clean, new sports shoes,” said the barista. “I feared for the worst.”

The teens then huddled around the cash register in a threatening manner, but they suddenly became aware of themselves and silently formed a line. They went on to order items ranging from orange juice and a bagel to mocha lattes with extra whipped cream.

The barista later admitted she was disappointed by how anticlimactic the incursion was. 

“For a moment, I thought I was going to have a story to tell, something to break the monotony of life in the world’s safest city,” she said. “But no.”

After they were all served, the teens filed upstairs and sat quietly, speaking in hushed tones as if conscious of the potentially disturbing volume of their voices.

“These guys didn’t even try to steal the tip jar when I turned my back,” the barista said. “And trust me, they had plenty of time when the toaster malfunctioned.”

“One of the kids even brought back his unused napkin,” she added. “But I was relieved to see it was crumpled, at least.”

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