It happened again. I was out with some friends, well not really friends, but acquaintances. They’re fellow model train enthusiasts. We meet up once a month to discuss wheels and watts.
A new member, seemingly prompted by the others, introduced himself, and we chatted. When I told him what I do for a living, he snickered and said he didn’t believe me.
“It’s true,” I said. “I do due diligence. I’ve been doing due diligence for years.”
That’s when Jean-Jacques, one of the less likable members of the group, joined the conversation.
“Did you hear that, everyone?” he shouted. “Dewey says he does due diligence. I don’t know about you, but I think he’s full of hot air.”
It’s very tiring, this little game so many people insist on playing with me. I know. I don’t look like a guy who’s an expert at AML/KYC and uncovering beneficiary owners, but I am, and I’m good at what I do. I stated loud and clear, “Yes, I do do due diligence.”
Oh, did they laugh. Why? I don’t know. There’s nothing funny about customer onboarding checklists, conducting periodic customer reviews, and analysing regulatory documents.
Still, a few minutes later, another guy, Peter, said to me, “You know what, Dewey? Not only do I think you’re lying about your job, but I think you’re deceiving us about your name.”
Man, was I ever getting annoyed. Some people don’t know when to stop. First they cast doubt about my job, and now my name? I stood up, prepared to lay down the law.
“Come on, tell us the truth,” Mario said, barely able to get the words out between bouts of chuckling.
You know what I did? I stood on the chair, cupped my hands around my mouth, and announced for all the world to hear:
“My name is Dewey Doogan, and I do do due diligence.”
Did they stop laughing? Did they shut up? No. Some people have no respect for those of us working behind the scenes to mitigate risk. Sheesh.
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Dewey Doogan does do due diligence for a Big Four firm
