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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Know-it-all expat can name prime minister

April 10, 2019

Know-it-all expat can name prime minister CLAUSEN — In a move that’s unsurprising because he’s a total know-it-all, according to those close to him, a local expat has impressed his friends by giving the name of Luxembourg’s prime minister.

Sasha Onyeze, 34, has over the years fostered a reputation as someone who reads too much about arcane topics, and who likes to memorize names and dates in order to impress others.

“The other night we were at the pub, discussing how things work here, and someone asked at what age the grand duke’s son becomes president,” said Onyeze’s friend Veronica Clapman, 28. “And someone else said, you idiot, it’s not done like that here. All the property owners line up their Audis, and whichever person has the cleanest car, he or she gets to choose, as long as the archbishop gives his consent.”

“Which sounded about right to me,” she added.

Not one to miss an opportunity, Onyeze smiled, sat back, and explained that Luxembourg has a prime minister, and that his name is Xavier Bettel — even seeming to pronounce the name correctly. He then went on to explain that the prime minister is appointed by an EU commission.

“We were all rather stunned,” Clapman said. “It would take most people decades of living here to have that much knowledge about the intricacies of national politics, but Sasha’s only been here for two years. I’ve been here most of my life, and I still don’t even know the royal family’s last name.”

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