A man known to defend the weather in Luxembourg whenever anyone complains about it only does so because he is actually a snail, it has been revealed.
For years, Ben Ouze has refused to join in when others lament the rain, even when it goes on for weeks – much to the annoyance of those close to him.
“He’s always talking about how it makes everything green, and how a good afternoon shower makes him come out of his shell,” says his partner Violetta Blynde. “I thought he was speaking figuratively.”
The truth about Ouze was revealed last Friday morning when his despondent colleagues in a Kirchberg office building stared out the window as dark gray clouds unleashed a torrent of water.
Ouze, his two tentacled eyes growing longer with the sight of rain, said, “hooray.”
When Ouze’s irritated supervisor Yannick Berger demanded to know why he likes nasty, wet weather so much, Ouze replied, “Well, it’s because I’m a snail.”
Berger and everyone in the office agree it all makes sense now.
“He’s always rather slow, and if you accidentally brush against him in the hall or lift, his bumpy, colorless skin retracts into the thing on his back, which is not, it turns out, one of those expensive backpacks that motorcyclists wear,” Berger says. “Anyway, we’ll just have to accept having a snail in the office.”
“I’ll have to talk to HR, as Ben shares an office with two French colleagues,” he added. “A man from Dijon and a woman from Metz, and I’m worried they may try to eat him.”
Ouze’s partner is embarrassed that she never saw the truth despite it being so obvious, she says.
“It’s true that Ben spends all his free time in the garden, snacking on leaves, grass, and berries,” she said. “And whenever he takes a shower, he always leaves a trail of slime on the bathroom floor, which is the main reason we go to couples therapy.”
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Originally published by RTL Today
