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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘Luxembourg: wild, drunk, and half-naked’ say nation branders in radical departure

October 7, 2023

Luxembourg's new sloganExplaining that it is time for a new strategy to make Luxembourg stand out as an attractive place to live and do business, the agency in charge of the country’s nation-branding efforts has adopted a new, more attention-grabbing slogan.

Claude Knepper, head of the Luxembourg Branding Bureau, says that years of promoting the country’s stability, peacefulness, and triple-A ratings have made it sound a bit like a retirement home for financially prudent introverts who are sensitive to loud noises.

“We are changing course,” Knepper said. “From now on, it will be Luxembourg: wild, drunk, and half-naked.”

Knepper says the slogan was chosen because it brings to mind a friend who’s just taken five shots of tequila and has now hopped up on the bar and is trying to get others to join her although it is obvious that in a moment she’s going to take a huge fall.

“And yes, your friend does fall in a most spectacular manner, knocking over beer glasses, breaking stools, and enraging the barman Tim,” he added. “But you know what? Your friend gets right back up on the bar, takes off her shirt, points at the DJ, and says, ‘now play us some Chumbawamba.’”

As part of the new effort, the country will also make use of a mascot, an anthropomorphic owl named Carlos who appears disheveled and confused as if he has been partying for three days but insists that he’s still up for going out tonight “because YOLO.”

“Yes, we offer a great quality of life, an efficient and multilingual administration, lots of activities for families, and triple-A ratings from all the major ratings agencies – and we’ll still mention those things, but more discreetly – in the background,” Knepper said. “Publicly we’re going to insist that those three A’s stand for alcohol, adrenaline, and absolute anarchy.”

Knepper says he and the office in charge of nation-branding efforts can only do so much and that the government will need to help out.

“We urge the government to scrap child benefits and arts subsidies in favor of publicly funded bungee jumping on the red bridge and 24/7 state-subsidized happy hours at every bar in the country,” he said.

***

Originally published by RTL Today

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