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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Mosquito shocked how much alcohol still in man’s blood full week after national day

June 30, 2021

Mosquito drunk alcohol in bloodA local mosquito has expressed shock and disgust after spending the night in a 34-year-old man’s bedroom and discovering that his blood was still full of alcohol – an entire week after Luxembourg’s national day. 

“I get it, every year on the eve of the 23rd of June, people in this country celebrate and do a little drinking,” said the mosquito named Carola, who entered the man’s apartment around 8 p.m. last night when he stepped onto his balcony to smoke. “No big deal. I just avoid consuming human blood for a few days after that day.”

“What did this guy do, drink all the booze in the whole country?” she added. “It’s been a full seven days.”

Carola says that in an effort to not get drunk herself, she tried extracting blood from a total of 34 different sites on the man’s body, including his arms, neck, face, and in a fit of desperation, the bottom of his stinky, calloused feet, but each time she got a buzz. 

“Great, I can’t even fly now,” she said. “Thanks mister. Try not to drink so much next year.”

According to sources, after leaving the Hesperange apartment through a small opening in the window around 5 a.m., Carola crashed into a tree and spent the next hour trying to suck blood from a piece of bark.

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