Just hours after moving to Luxembourg for a job, an Asian hornet joined a Facebook expats group to ask which is the best internet provider.
The hornet, which unironically says it “moved here to work in a hive in Cloche d’Or,” expressed relief after finding the online community, which it hoped would provide a support network and real-world friends.
Unfortunately for the two-centimeter-long creature, only one group member responded, commenting “This question is literally asked every day.”
Undeterred, the hornet went on to post other questions that also went ignored, such as how long it takes to fly to Ikea, which is the best school for larvae, and which is the best place to feast on a colony of honey bees.
“And can I travel to Germany without a negative test?” it also wrote. “How long does it take to get results? Can I even catch COVID?”
After the hornet posted 10 questions in a single day, one fed up member asked if the hornet had ever heard of Google. The insect replied that there was “no need to be nasty to someone genuinely looking for help.”
“By the way, if I see you in person, I’m going to sting your ass,” the hornet added. “You’d better start carrying an EpiPen wherever you go.”
One European hornet who has lived in Luxembourg for 45 days said it would like to reach out to the Asian hornet, but it’s annoying having to help every new winged insect that buzzes into the Grand Duchy.
“They always complain about the weather, and I’m like, yeah,” the European hornet said. “It rains here.”
Sources indicate that the Asian hornet now realizes making friends here might take some time, but it’s determined to make it happen.
However, according to Yolanda Hartman, author of “How to Make Friends in Luxembourg: A 10-Year Plan,” even for a sociable young worker living in a nest of several hundred vespas, it could take up to a year to forge a solid friendship – significantly longer than the Asian hornet’s average lifespan of four to five months.
***
Originally published by RTL Today on October 1, 2020
