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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

New express gym in Gasperich offering 5-minute workouts

January 26, 2018

Basic Fit LuxembourgIf you want to get in shape but don’t want to spend a grueling 20 minutes in a cramped space next to a man who hasn’t showered in two weeks and drags his knuckles on the ground, you’re in luck.

Luxembourg’s largest fitness chain is opening a new express walk-through gym in Gasperich.

The open-air gym, which opens to the general public next month, will offer a range of fast-fitness services such as five-minute ab workouts and glute sessions.

Customers will simply join a line and wait to be greeted by the club’s enthusiastic staff, who from the walk-through window will give instruction and encouragement.

Full membership will cost 19.99 per month and will grant gym-goers access to a VIP lane where trainers will lead them through an eight-minute total body workout, at the end of which a taciturn guy named Franck will hose them down with refreshing mineral water.

For those who don’t want to commit to a membership, the à la carte menu offers 45 different individual exercises such as 60 lunges, 60 squats, or 60 sit-ups for just under two euros.

“This is really a game changer for the fitness sector in Luxembourg,” said Basic Express CEO Mario Vespucci. “We plan to open an additional five locations, as well as a Basic Express counter at the airport where customers can get a minute’s worth of leg stretches and jumping jacks before and after flights.”

If you are the type of person who doesn’t like getting out of your car, or if you’re feeling too sluggish to even move your feet, not to worry, says Vespucci.

Customers can pull into a private parking lot and be discreetly met by a personal trainer who will lead them through a series of neck bends, shoulder shrugs, facial contortions, and fist clenching exercises.

“Even five minutes of crossing and uncrossing your arms can burn up to 25 calories,” said personal trainer Luc “Guns” Lacrosse. “But who likes doing that on your own? Not only that, but you can seriously injure yourself if you don’t do it the right way.”

“That’s why you should come to us, to learn how to safely and quickly get in shape,” he said. “Many of our trial customers have seen such outstanding results that they ask to go through the walk-though six or seven times in a row.”

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