It began as an inspiring story about a woman’s deep knowledge of theoretical physics and her struggle to buy a home in Luxembourg at a reasonable price, but it has turned into a nightmare for the woman’s friends.
Gulnora Jamalova moved to Luxembourg five years ago to work for the Luxembourg Institute of Science and Technology (LIST). After seeing the astronomical costs of homes in the Grand Duchy, she soon began trying to find a way to go back in time to buy real-estate when it was affordable.
Last year, she succeeded and managed to travel to the year 1998, just long enough to purchase a house in Strassen and return to the present with her deed and all the paperwork.
“We were so happy for her,” said workmate Beate Krass. “She found an entry point to an Einstein-Rosen bridge, opened up a new frontier of science, and, most impressively, found a huge place 15 minutes from Luxembourg City for the equivalent of 299,000 euros.”
Now a happy homeowner, Jamalova agreed to rent bedrooms to three of her friends who also work in the lab, asking for only 175 euros per month, commensurate with the 1998 rental market.
However, as happy as they were with their friend’s accomplishment and their now affordable lodging, they soon discovered there was a terrible downside.
“It’s Backstreet Boys, all the time,” said roommate Irina Ridou. “She wakes up every morning singing ‘Everybody, yeah, rock your body,’ and during her shower it’s ‘I want it that – way,’ and then while she’s cooking it’s ‘All you people, can’t you see, can’t you see.’”
“We asked her to at least switch to some of their later stuff, or maybe try Westlife or some Jonas Brothers for a change, but it’s like her brain is incapable of processing any boy band hit song released after 1998,” added roommate Rachel Caruthers.
The roommates say what is also annoying is that whenever anyone mentions WhatsApp, Tiktok, or Snapchat, Jamalova makes remarks like, ‘What’s a WhatsApp? What is … ChatSnap?’”
“Then she’ll tell us about this hot new thing called [AOL instant messenger platform] AIM that we absolutely have to get, in order to stay in touch when we’re ‘surfing the net,’” Caruthers said.
Experts say that as unbearable as Jamalova’s quirks are, the group of friends should consider themselves lucky, reminding them of the sad story of Luc Grobarb, who in 2014 used psychic powers to transport himself back to 1855 and buy a flat in Luxembourg City for 1000 Luxembourgish francs and an old workhorse. Unfortunately for his family, he came back singing German folk songs and refused to ever again flush the toilet, worried that he would get sucked in.