A man believed to be a jet-lagged tourist, a new arrival from another continent, or an anarchist has attempted to order a meal at a restaurant in the middle of the afternoon.
The attempt took place on Thursday from around 2:30 to 3:45 p.m. when the unidentified male visited as many as nine different restaurants in Luxembourg, sat down at a corner table, and asked to see the menu.
In most cases, the restaurants were closed in observance of the holy lunch-dinner gap, and annoyed staff told the man to come back in four hours.
In other cases, confused employees tried to help, with one offering a piece of cooked salmon left over from lunch, and another giving the man a plastic bag of raw cut vegetables that were meant to be steamed for dinner.
“It was all very confusing because it was not lunchtime, and it was not dinnertime, and yet this individual wanted a plate of hot food,” said one restaurant manager.
Herbert Anouilh, a sixth-generation restaurateur and author of “Meals Matter,” describes such behavior as “erratic” and says the desire to eat a meal when it is not a prescribed mealtime shows a blatant disrespect for the traditions of Western Europe.
“Sacrilege, wrong, cretin, sick, barbarian,” he said. “Animal, foul, rude, wicked, saboteur.”
“In the afternoon, one may only eat a sweet treat, as prescribed in the sacred texts,” he added.
However, not all restaurateurs see the man and his appetite as an aberration, and at least one brasserie owner says she’s planning on accommodating such unusual patrons by staying open between the hours of 2 and 6:30 p.m.
“Naturally, we’ll have to triple prices to accommodate hiring an extra server and cook, and we’ll all stare at these weirdos while they eat, and we might even take their photos and turn them into funny memes,” she said. “Top text: goes to a restaurant at 4 p.m. Bottom text: asks for the lunch special.”
Lexicographer Rita Schaak says that the outrage over the incident has less to do with ensuring that digestive processes are coordinated across society and more about the need for a new word.
“No one has a problem with brunch, which is a portmanteau of ‘breakfast’ and ‘lunch,’ although thirty years ago you might have seen violent protests,” she said. “For mid-afternoon meals like these, let’s agree to call them ‘linner’ or ‘dunch’ and be done with it.”
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Originally published by RTL Today
