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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Excellent choice, sir: why suspect photos in Luxembourg are aged like a fine whisky before release

Suspect photos Luxembourg aged like fine wineIn a network of tunnels below Luxembourg City is the cave where suspect photos are stored and aged like fine whisky until they are ready to be released to the public, explain law enforcement officials. 

Officer Marco Trausch, who oversees the aging process, took the Wurst on a tour, explaining that when a photo of a suspected thief or attacker is first obtained, it is usually too young and fresh to be put out. 

“Aging photos allows complex elements to develop, and these result in a richer, more nuanced identification experience,” he explained. “A real connoisseur appreciates finer notes such as pixelation, video degradation, and blurring.”

Trausch pointed to a blurry photo of a man leaving a bank. 

“This is a 2008, which you can tell from the interference lines from the security camera footage, which was more common back then,” Trausch said. “He is suspected of stealing a credit card from a person waiting for a bus at Hamilius and using it to withdraw money.”

“If you know who this man is, please contact us,” he added.

He then walked over to a smaller, clearer photo of a man in a mask. 

“Oh, and this one is very interesting,” he continued. “It’s a 2022, fairly young, but that was a very good year for burglaries. This is a photo caught from a building’s surveillance camera footage.”

“If you recognize him, call us.”

Trausch then walked over to a photo in a glass case which contains photos from the unreleasable private reserve.

“This one is of a man who is suspected of a mugging in the Kinnekswiss park in Luxembourg City in 2019,” he said. “It cannot be released to the public because the witness who took the photo did not get the subject’s permission.”

“Still, it’s one of our favorites because of how perfectly it has aged,” he said. “Look at how the suspect appears to be elongated, and that’s due to the fact that he was running and the witness was older and used an early model iPhone. Vintage. Delicious.”

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Filed Under: Featured Article, Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, Politics and Government

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