The Luxembourg Wurst has been in existence since 2017, and all that time we haven’t known for sure if we’re actually allowed to make pointed jokes about the institution of the monarchy. Why? Because no one tells us a damn thing, that’s why.
When you get into the business of publishing online news satire, there’s no elder to show you the ropes, no page on Guichet.lu to explain what you are and aren’t allowed to say. The only guardrails are the occasional email with “FU!” as a subject line or a complaint from some person or another from Bazar International. No, the only thing leading us is our intuition and good nature.
Sure, we’ve published a few light-hearted pieces about the Grand Duke, saying he got his own city bus, nearly lost Luxembourg in a late-night poker game, fought in a duel to keep the country intact, and participated in his annual birthday flight above Luxembourg City in a crémant-powered jet suit.
But what if we poked fun at the very idea of any monarchy, as constitutional as it may be, existing in the third decade of the 21st century? What if we ridiculed the belief that some families deserve to live very well off of public funding while others have to clean toilets all day or sit hunched over a laptop, penning cheap, made-up news stories just to afford their daily tub of cottage cheese – the store brand, not even the tasty Luxlait cottage cheese?
That’s why we are now prepared to test the water. We are dipping our toes in to see if anything bites. Think of us as a canary in a coal mine. A cat in the dryer. A goldfish plucked from the bowl and set on a paper towel.
Just give us a moment to do a quick spell check and click the post button. Voilà. The article is published and all ready for you to see. We present to you our satirical piece: “Grand Duke again gets to wear crown for upcoming year after finding ceramic bean in galette.” That’s not too pointed or mean-spirited, right? We didn’t think so. We know, we know. His son is taking the throne later this year. The idea, of course, is that adhering to a centuries-old tradition of –
Hang on, someone’s here, inside. Odd. We could swear we locked the front door. Hello? Er, moien? Moiiiiiiiiien. Bonjour. Is someone there? Hey! Hey! Who are you? How did you get in?
No, you can’t take my Macbook. For repairs? It doesn’t need repairs. It’s not broken. Hey, give it back! Fine, I’ll delete the stupid article. See? It’s gone. Oh, you don’t trust me. Fine, you do it then. Ha! Good luck trying to find the right button. I doubt you’re familiar with WordPress websites.
Oh. You’ve done it. That was fast. Oh, and you’ve deleted the Google doc as well. Right. Got it. Message received, loud and clear. No, you don’t need to lock the door on the way out. Apparently it doesn’t work.
As we were saying, when you publish satire, you need to always be well aware of the laws, rules, and etiquette. Limits must be respected, and under no circumstances do you ever want to criticize the heart and soul of the country in which you live. That would be impolite.
