A colleague and amateur magician who performs under the names the Dazzling Deceiver and the Phenomenal Faker has announced that for his next trick, he’s going to take a single public holiday in the middle of the week and turn it into five days off in a row. “Ladies and gentlemen, some of you say […]
Archives for April 2019
8-year-old suspected of stealing millions of Cactus ‘Mega Öko Gang’ cards
A spokesman for Cactus supermarket has confirmed reports of a Sunday night burglary in which millions of promotional animal-themed cards were stolen from an underground vault near Mersh. Rene Faber says the company has identified a suspect, an eight-year-old from Junglinster who hours before the heist was overheard saying he’d “do anything” to get the […]
Oh, crap: marathon registration closes yet again seconds before man signs up
WALFERDANGE — For the ninth year in a row, a Luxembourg man has just missed the deadline to sign up for the annual ING marathon. “Unbelievable,” the 41-year-old corporate lawyer was heard saying on Wednesday, sitting in front of his computer with his credit card set out in front of him. “I’d entered all my […]
Grand Duke Jean, 1921 – 2019
Luxembourg invests €50 million to mine black hole
Proving that the country is keeping its eyes on the stars, Luxembourg has announced it has invested 50 million euros in a company that plans on mining a recently photographed black hole. “Some critics say we’re just throwing money into a giant hole, but that’s the point,” said Hubert Sternmann, spokesperson for the government’s Office […]