Luxembourg health experts often promote drinking water, but most forget to emphasize the importance of old-fashioned booze. Here are seven signs you may not be drinking enough alcohol.
You’re wondering when the barman will return with change
What are you, a bank teller? Scrooge McDuck? Stop counting pennies and order some more shots. You can worry about your personal finances tomorrow.
You only visit the toilet once an hour
Throw your drink down your throat and give your insides a good, old-fashioned ethanol cleanse, just like granddaddy used to do.
You’re self-conscious about not wearing a shirt
Who cares? People at Spanish beaches and in single-sex showers don’t wear shirts, so why should anyone at bars?
You can see the tip of your nose
Cross your eyes and try to spot that weird fleshy thing that sticks out from your face. If you succeed, raise your hand and shout, “Garçon, another round.”
The waitress is asking if you want another pint, and you’re hesitating
If you were drinking enough alcohol, you’d know the right answer: make it two, one for me and one for myself.
You’re not laughing at the woman over there who spilled her cocktail
She’s so embarrassed! Her shirt is ruined! Some schmuck is going to have to mop up the sticky mess! It’s so funny!
You’ve read this far
If you were drinking enough alcohol, you’d have stopped after reading the first item on this list, if you even made that far. Now put down your phone or tablet or whatever and get back to taking care of yourself.