Describing the recent sunny skies as “too much, too early,” the government has initiated an emergency project to pump upwards of 138,000 tons of clouds into the sky, with the aim of covering the country.
Mara Shoenboern, who oversees Luxembourg’s Office for the Management of Expectations, says that the recent pleasant weather is giving many people the idea that summer is here and the sunny days will remain.
“We urgently need to bring people back to reality,” she said, wearing industrial-grade sunglasses to prevent herself from being infected from even the mildest form of cautious optimism.
“Half the people who live in Luxembourg come from other countries, and it’s likely that many of them are not mentally or emotionally prepared for what’s to come,” she added.
Shoenboern says that based on history, there is a 90-percent chance that within a week or two, grey, overcast skies will return and last till July. She says there’s also a 20-percent chance that it will soon rain non-stop all the way through September.
“This has been known to happen,” she said. “In fact, I clearly remember that when I was six years old until I turned eight, the entire country was blanketed by a persistent drizzle. This taught me an important lesson.”
Because the giant fog machine requires a significant amount of water, officials plan to drain Lake Echternach and convert it into a giant skate park.
