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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘A little’ English, lies Luxembourger

A Luxembourgish Post employee who was asked if he spoke English and responded by saying “a little” has told a bald-faced lie, according to witnesses.

The fraud occurred on Friday morning when Georgia Panagopoulos visited a Post branch in Luxembourg City.

“I wanted a new phone, and I had a lot of questions,” said the 30-year-old. “I really needed someone who could speak English.”

Panagopoulos explains that when it was her turn, she asked the young employee if he spoke English, to which he flatly replied “a little.” However, within seconds, she understood that the man had deceived her.

“His English was better than my B2-level English which I needed to get a job at the Commission,” she said. “The man was a total fabulist, or he lives in a fantasy world where no means yes and up means down.”

Franck Biel, who had stopped at the Post to upgrade his internet service, witnessed the outrageous untruth. 

“If I claim that I speak a little Spanish, that means I know how to count to 10, order a beer, and ask for the toilet, and probably with a bad accent and poor grammar,” he said. 

“My girlfriend only knows 17 words in French, 12 of which are things she orders at restaurants,” he says. “And yet she tells everyone, very truthfully, that she speaks a little French.”

Experts say that instances of this type of fraud are widespread in Luxembourg, where up to seven of out 10 locals profess to only speak a little English yet would probably be qualified to teach English in many parts of the world. 

“Luxembourgers need to stop this ‘a little’ bullshit and be honest with us,” said prominent expat and unofficial expat spokesperson Valerie Brand. “It’s confusing, and it ends up making us feel bad about ourselves.”

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