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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

Confirmed: it always rains in Luxembourg

April 17, 2025

Rain Luxembourg Despite some recent and obviously false claims, it has always rained non-stop in Luxembourg, and it will always rain non-stop in Luxembourg, it has been confirmed. 

“Some people – delusional or simply dishonest, it’s hard to say – have publicly stated that for several weeks it did not rain,” said Carlo Reenmann, a realist who lives in Redange. “Moreover, these individuals have asserted that they, with their own eyes and skin, sensed a lapse in the perpetual showers from the sky, as if the laws of meteorology and climatology can suddenly be turned upside down.”

“Worst of all, they have claimed that for several weeks they observed and felt … sunlight,” he continued. “This cannot be.”

“If you open your eyes, you will see it,” he added. “If you put out your hand, you will feel it. If you consult your heart, you know this to be true. If you want sunlight, you must travel to Mallorca or Tunisia. Those are the only options.”

Experts say that spreading untruths about so-called “sunny days” in Luxembourg is dangerous and leads residents to develop something called optimism, which invariably leads to disappointment and sadness.

“The faster that people admit that it always rains here and always will, the better for us all,” Reenman said. “That way, we can be happy.”

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