An expat is being hailed as a paragon of fairness and wisdom after it was revealed that he is capable of being neither systematically critical nor overly defensive of Luxembourg.
He was called to weigh in on a dispute in which a group of expat friends was having a heated expat discussion about roadworks. One claimed that the roadworks are good, while the other said they are bad.
“The roadworks are both good and bad,” said the wise expat. “Good, because such works are necessary to maintain the fine infrastructure we enjoy, but bad because they cause delays and oblige drivers to make detours.”
After being bathed in a golden light, he went on to address other issues, each time awing listeners with his profoundly balanced views.
“The administration is often swift, but not always,” he said. “True, cycling paths are not used by everyone, but indeed they are often used by some. Customer service may leave you in a state of want, but have you ever gone shopping in certain countries in Eastern Europe?”
It was then that two women, both with a baby, approached him, each insisting that their child was his.
“These claims, while appearing as though only one may be true, are in this case both true,” proclaimed the expat before fleeing back to his home country, the golden light struggling to keep up with him.
