In what’s being called proof that every cloud has a silver lining, burglars who broke into a home in Bertrange and stole dozens of items also took a 500-gram tub of kachkéis from the family’s refrigerator.
David Cattanach, who left his home for two hours on Saturday with his wife and son to attend the boy’s basketball game, says that at first, he felt terrible knowing someone had entered their home and stolen their most cherished possessions.
“They took my childhood Nintendo console and Power Glove. They stole the framed photograph of Deb’s forehead after Robbie Williams signed it at a concert in 1998. And they took my son Caelan’s collection of 23,448 Pokémon cards,” he said.
“But, when you open your fridge to grab a beer to lessen the shock, and you see that the bandits also took that cheese stuff your wife brought home one day because of some sadistic desire to force the family to culturally integrate, it lessens the pain,” he continued.
“In fact, you don’t just feel better, you cheer and do a little jump kick in the air,” he added. “And then you organize a party with all your other foreign friends because you have been saved.”
The partially consumed kachkéis, which Caelan had said resembled donkey snot, was a source of conflicted feelings for Deb who claims it is not good to throw out food yet also found the gooey substance unpalatable.
“As long as it’s not wasted, I suppose I can’t be picky about who eats it,” she said. “I hope they find a way to enjoy it. Maybe you’re supposed to cook it and add a lot of herbs.”
Although the Cattanachs see the theft of the cheese as a blessing in disguise, not everyone feels the same.
Police officer Kevin Goergen, who filled out the report of the burglary, says that the loss of even one serving of kachkéis is a loss to all the people of Luxembourg.
“We will do everything we can to catch the perpetrator and return the delicious kachkéis to the mouth, tongue, and belly of its rightful owner,” he said. “Failing that, we will find the empty container to give it a proper burial.”
Cattanach says that while he hopes the perpetrators are caught and put in jail, he does have a little request for them.
“I don’t want you ever coming into my home again, but in case you do, in our cave are about 20 bottles of homemade kombucha made by my wife’s friend Kathy,” he said. “Apparently it’s good for your gut health, but to me it tastes like swamp water and gives massive gas. Take it. It’s yours.”
Originally published by RTL Today