After more than 150 years of intense labor, the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg has given birth to a Petit Duchy of Luxembourg.
The baby duchy was born at 5:20 a.m. on Tuesday while most of the country’s residents were sleeping, and those who were awake mistook the distant rumbling and then terrifying shouting for an early-starting construction crew.
The delivery occurred in a special unit at the Grand Duchess Charlotte Maternity Hospital that was designed for the event and, given the size of the newborn, took 19 years to build.
The baby duchy, which is said to be adorable yet somewhat reserved like its parent, weighs 45 million tons and is roughly three kilometers long and two kilometers wide.
Mysterious parentage
As no other parent was present at the birth, residents and international observers who obsessively follow the goings-on of duchies, principalities, and kingdoms immediately questioned the parentage.
The Grand Duchy insists there is no other parent, coyly whispering the national motto, “Mir wëlle bleiwe wat mir sinn,” which according to our in-house translator who completed an A1 Luxembourgish language course means, “I’m chaste and not that type of country.”
Regarding the possibility that a single parent country may conceive on its own and carry to term a child country, geographer biologists point to starfish as well as Russia which can both reproduce asexually under certain circumstances.
However, others have alleged that Luxembourg had an illicit affair with another constitutional monarchy, possibly the UK, although the suggestion seemed slightly off-putting to both countries.
Nursery
Some have suggested that the baby duchy may be kept and raised in a sparsely populated commune such as Wincrange where according to experts there are only six people, 12 cows, an old church, and an infamous chihuahua that never shuts up that would need to be relocated.
However, others suggest that the little one be put in the Mediterranean Sea where it can learn how to swim, grow into an island, and become a resort that caters to Luxembourgers, Luxembourg residents, or anyone who decides that a sign of wealth is wearing colorful, mismatched clothes.
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Originally published by RTL Today
