Luxembourg’s most adorable pseudo members of the workforce have demonstrated yet again how preciously naive they are in real-life matters.
Pretending to have permanent work contracts like adults, hundreds of baby-faced freelancers have said in very grown-up voices that they, too, deserve a little raise and that they should apply the 2.5 indexation to their fees.
Ah, bless them!
“That’s so cute,” said Thomas Mertins, who runs a company that employs members of the proper economy yet occasionally hires so-called “independents” for little fun tasks like web designing, copywriting, or tap dancing while wearing a clown costume just to give him and his staff something to watch while they eat ham and cheese sandwiches at their desks.
Martin says that some of these freelancers have already informed him in serious, adult-like voices that following the indexation, they are going to raise their fees.
“I never know whether to laugh, cry, or pat them on the head and give them a chocolate-chip cookie and say, you, child, are an innocent creature,” Mertins said.
However, not everyone agrees that freelancers are cute.
“They are fringe-dwelling freaks and masochists who get pleasure from inflicting themselves with the pain of financial insecurity, no paid time off, tons of paperwork, having to pay for 100 percent of their social security contribution, and questions like, ‘but what’s your real job?’” said Carlotta Pinksi, a reformed freelancer herself.
Still, it is hard to deny that whenever independently employed people pretend to be all serious and hint in their darling little voices that they need to ask for more money just because inflation is skyrocketing, everyone else is getting paid more, and a simple hamburger now costs 20 euros, it is so adorable!
Can we say: nice try, little bambi-eyed workers!