As part of the commitment to support local production and reproduction, the Chamber of Commerce has announced that any child made in Luxembourg will now be eligible for a Made in Luxembourg tattoo.
The tattoo, made from non-toxic black ink, will only be given to babies whose parents can provide substantial evidence that the child was conceived in the Grand Duchy.
“This is an exclusive mark, and we’re not going to give it to just any Josy Schmosy who shows up with a crying infant and a story about a hot night in Hollerich or a passionate weekend in Petange,” said Laura Eischen, a spokesperson for the Made in Luxembourg label. “There will be a procedure to follow.”
“We want to see hotel receipts,” she said. “We want to see broken bed springs, reports of noise complaints from neighbors who told police that a couple of baboons must have escaped from the zoo and fornicated upstairs.”
“But we don’t want to see you in the coital act,” she added. “Photographic or video evidence of any sort is unnecessary and will result in a rejected application.”
Parents are applauding the new program, saying that having the Made in Luxembourg mark will be beneficial to their children later in life, and that in most cases it will serve as proof they are multilingual, disinclined to fight, and can handle alcohol.