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Luxembourg Wurst

Knock A Shining Dog

‘Best investment ever’ says couple who bought cramped studio in Lux center for €850,000

‘Best investment ever’ says couple who bought cramped studio in Lux center for €850,000An expat couple who earlier this month paid a fortune for a 42-square-meter studio apartment in Luxembourg-ville center have convinced themselves that it was a sound investment.

“Property values can only go up, or so I’m told by a Luxembourgish guy in my cycling club who works in finance or real estate or something,” said Frank Betters, 32. “Or maybe he’s a street cleaner. In any case, I’m sure he’s right. I mean, just think about it. That’s all we ever hear about, property getting more expensive.

Frank’s wife Adriana, 34, confirmed that at only 850,000 euros, the sixth-floor property — built in 1957, only accessible by stairs, and infested with a hitherto unknown species of black mold that seems to kill all other life forms on contact — was “a steal.”

“The prices of housing in Luxembourg have been going up steadily for the last few years, so that means they’re going to go up forever, and it doesn’t take a PhD in economics to know that,” she said. “You only need to look at a graph and see the direction of the arrow, which is up.”

“And up, incidentally, is the opposite of down,” she added.

The couple estimates that by 2042, when they hope to retire, the studio will be worth €7.4 million, at which point they will sell it and buy a sprawling 16-bedroom villa in the Umbrian countryside.

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