Luxembourg has unleashed a collective “aww, cute” after an expat stated he was going to try to find a company for a small project for his house: installing a doorbell.
The man, now viewed as more like a child who knows little in the ways of the world, exposed his angelic obliviousness while chatting with his colleague Virginie about the frustrations of homeownership.
“We’ve been living in our house for three years without a doorbell,” the man said. “Whenever anyone comes over, they’ve got to knock, and if I’m upstairs, I won’t even hear them.”
“So I’ve decided to look for a company to install a doorbell,” he continued. “It won’t cost that much, right? Three, four hundred euros maybe?”
As her eyes filled with tears, the man’s colleague gushed. “Oh, you innocent creature, your heart so full of hope, your eyes so full of wonder, and your mind so vacant of real-world experiences that might have led you to understand the truth about how it works in Luxembourg.”
Learning the news, the government expressed similar sentiments.
“Hear ye, hear ye,” it said in a press release. “Wrap this doe in a blanket, feed him warm milk from a bottle, and cover him with kisses and love. He is precious. Let us pamper him until he learns the cold, hard truth: no contractor will ever take on a job so small.”
Sources later revealed that the man reached out to a total of 221 contractors, ranging from large companies that specialize in electrical work all the way to a possibly-alcoholic and desperate handyman from Pétange recommended by a friend. Of those, only three responded to the expat’s email: one with “oh sure, we’re very interested, lol,” the other with a smiley emoji, and the third with an audio recording of the entire staff laughing at him.
