A report issued by a consortium of Luxembourg’s largest new outlets has confirmed that nothing happened in Luxembourg today. “We sent reporters all over the Grand Duchy, from the depths of the mines in Rumelange to the heights of the Éislek, and they all returned with the same news,” says the report. “That there was […]
Powerful local couple possess VDL parking disc
A pair who resemble the privileged aristocrats of yesteryear have demonstrated their influence and power: an item that allows them to park nearly anywhere in Luxembourg City for free. On Thursday, Yannis Alphonsi and Katarina Gomes picked up a friend in Leudelange and drove him to a restaurant in Limpertsberg where the three were to […]
Scientists discover new sea animal made entirely of plastic
A team of marine biologists from Luxembourg who were exploring the Mediterranean coast on Thursday reported finding a new aquatic species, one made entirely of plastic. The animal roughly measures 40 centimeters long and appears to move around with the help of drinking straw appendages. “This is a simple case of adapting to the environment,” […]
Wolf chooses to live in Belgium after seeing cost of dens here
A wolf that was sniffing around Luxembourg for a new den has announced that due to the high prices here, he and his pack have decided to live over the border in Belgium. “It would’ve been nice to live in Luxembourg,” the wolf said through his interpreter, a 26-year-old unshaved Belgian wolf whisperer named Loup. […]
Man who claimed he mastered all local languages forced to admit he was lying
An anglophone who for years claimed he had mastered the local languages has been forced to admit that he can only really speak English after what one witness described as a “disastrous” telephone conversation with a hospital receptionist. On Tuesday, teacher Alan Rooney, 47, attempted to make a medical appointment over the phone while several […]
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 137
- 138
- 139
- 140
- 141
- …
- 173
- Next Page »