A Steinsel woman and bedtime routine advocate says she readies herself for sleep with a slow, relaxing transition from watching a series on her television and then switching to her laptop before moving on to her tablet and finally her smartphone. “A lot of people think you can just hop right into bed with your […]
You can make any dish ‘Mexican’ with random sweet red sauce, confirm Europeans
Nearly every restaurant in Europe has confirmed that all it takes to make any dish a “Mexican” dish is putting some random sweet red sauce on top. “See, here’s a regular burger,” said a cook at a restaurant in Amsterdam that specializes in hamburgers. “But after I squirt on it some sweet red sauce which […]
Dying bacteria in man’s gut commandeer his body and force him to eat half kilo of sugar
Millions of dying bacteria in a Luxembourg man’s intestinal tract have sprung back to life after they commandeered his body and made him walk into his kitchen and consume 550 grams of pure sugar. The bacteria had become increasingly lethargic in the preceding days as Dan Scott gave up alcoholic beverages and, to the bacteria’s […]
We’re going to make a joke about the monarchy just to see if it’s allowed – hey, hey! Who are you? Give back our laptop!
The Luxembourg Wurst has been in existence since 2017, and all that time we haven’t known for sure if we’re actually allowed to make pointed jokes about the institution of the monarchy. Why? Because no one tells us a damn thing, that’s why. When you get into the business of publishing online news satire, there’s […]
Report: non-drinkers love being asked why they don’t drink
According to a recent study by researchers from the University of Wiltz, non-drinkers love it when others – particularly strangers or someone they’ve just met – demand to know why they don’t consume alcohol. “For most teetotallers, being able to talk about why they don’t drink is the main reason they don’t drink,” said Lorena […]
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