Casper You meet this new arrival and you click with each other. “Let’s hang out sometime,” you both say. By the time you get around to inviting them for a drink, they’re already gone. But weren’t they supposed to stay for an 18-month work assignment? Oh, they did and already went back home. Oops. Chronicler […]
Luxembourg to officially change name of July to ‘November’
Saying it doesn’t make sense to keep the name of what should be summer’s most summery month when it rains all the damn time, Luxembourg officials have announced they’re going to change the name of July to “November.” “Other countries have designated monsoon seasons, and people know the weather’s going to be wet and unpleasant, […]
New Valorlux recycling bags for luxury goods
Saying that Luxembourg must do more to limit the number of glamorous handbags and accessories that end up at the bottoms of drawers and in the backs of wardrobes, Valorlux has announced the release of a new “gold” line of recycling sacks for luxury goods. Collected items will be taken to a processing facility to […]
Mosquito shocked how much alcohol still in man’s blood full week after national day
A local mosquito has expressed shock and disgust after spending the night in a 34-year-old man’s bedroom and discovering that his blood was still full of alcohol – an entire week after Luxembourg’s national day. “I get it, every year on the eve of the 23rd of June, people in this country celebrate and do […]
Schneider building clone army to serve on thousands of more boards
Saying one Etienne Schneider is not enough to fully capitalize a political career, Etienne Schneider has confirmed he’s building a clone army of himself. “Every clone will be just like the original, with the same insider knowledge of government and industry,” said a spokesperson for Kamino, the Moscow-based company that’s overseeing production. “Like Mr. Schneider, […]